Memories
by The Gemini Sage
Summary: Roy and Ed take on a mission together, but something goes wrong and Ed gets caught in an explosion. The military declares him dead, but Roy and Al know better and follow a lead to Dublith, where they find Ed...without any of his memories. Warnings inside.
1. Chapter One

**Notes:** This is an old fic of mine, ten chapters, that used to be on my other account. I'm not doing an extensive rewrite, and yes, I'm aware that Roy's a little out of character. Warnings here include RoyEd, a not-Sue OC, and a heavy heaping of cheese near the end. This fic is already complete and will be updated pretty quickly as I clean it up for reposting. This was originally a request from **Belletiger**, so thanks to her for the idea!

Chapter One

Roy knew already that this would be a very long train ride.

"You're a bastard."

Edward's insult didn't bother him, of course; he was far to used to them to care.

"I mean it. You're a _bastard_."

But it would still be a very long, very boring train ride.

"Actually, my parents were married," Roy told him.

"I hate you."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"I hate the Furher for making me do this."

"Better say that under your breath, Fullmetal."

"Actually, I hate the entire _world_."

Well, it would be a long train ride, unless he could stir up a _little_ entertainment...

"Really. Now you're acting like a child," Roy said, pretending to be exasperated, though they both knew he was quite enjoying himself. "A child, Edward. A spoiled, _little_, child—"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE HAS TO REACH ABOVE HIS HEAD TO POKE A GRASSHOPPER IN THE KNEE!"

Roy smirked. Man, it never failed. This would be something to keep him busy, no doubt.

He refused to respond to Ed's outburst; silence ruled. Roy stared boredly out the window. He needed conversation, though, so he would have to speak again eventually. He wondered how many times he could work in the word _small_ into a normal mission briefing.

"So, are you clear on the details of the mission?"

"Yes, Colonel Airhead, I am. I'm not an _idiot_. I can read."

"Really? I was thinking you'd get lost in the stack of papers—"

"ARE YOU CALLING ME SO SMALL I'D GET LOST IN A PILE OF PAPERWORK THAT'S ONLY AN INCH HIGH!"

Roy stared at him, cocked a bored eyebrow. "_Duh._"

Edward fumed. Roy sighed, managing to keep a straight face, and took out a notepad. On the top he wrote, "Edward's Outbursts." Then he drew two tally marks.

"What are you doing?"

"Tallying. I'm going to see how many times you react to me calling you short."

"I AM NOT SHORT, YOU OVERSIZED JERK!"

Roy ignored him and drew a third tally mark.

"So. The mission."

"What about it, bastard?"

"Well, we can't very well do anything if you keep getting angry. We're supposed to catching maniacs, not acting like maniacs. We can't be drawing attention to ourselves and—"

"I know, I know. Man...idiots...when I find them—"

"You'll hand them over to the authorities."

"How can you _say_ that? They're using alchemy to blow up buildings, some of which have innocent people inside—it's yet another way for them to do wrong with the only thing we humans have _going_ for us—"

"You little hypocrite."

Ed stopped midsentence.

"How dare you throw my past back in my fa—wait a minute...I AM NOT LITTLE!"

Roy sighed, but was unable to hide his amusement. Edward glared at the smirking man as he watched Roy make the fourth tally mark.

"Just don't get yourself killed, Fullmetal."

"Right right, I'm enough of a pain without the paperwork."

"Indeed you are, you _littl_e—"

"SHUT UP!"

Roy crossed the fifth tally mark.

"I'm _not_ short."

"Yes, you _are_."

"I AM NOT!"

Tally mark number six.

"Why do you let it bother you, anyway? I'm short compared to Armstrong. It doesn't bother me."

"A freaking skyscraper is short compared to Armstrong."

Roy smirked in amusement, just barely containing an undignified snort of laughter.

"It bothers me because..."

Edward looked frustrated, as if he couldn't find the right words.

"Because...?"

"It's because when people call me short, they're implying that I'm inferior. Childish. Weak. A sixteen year old in the military gets that a lot. I don't like being called short...because it's like being called weak. And I'm not weak, or childish." Ed glared up at him.

"You're sixteen, of course you're a child." Roy was smirking.

Smirking, damn it, did he find this amusing or something?

Ed met his smirk with a glare and there was something different about it this time: Roy knew from his eyes he was no child.

"No one with automail can be a child. Even if the circumstances aren't as drastic as mine, if you have automail, you are not a child. When you see people with automail...remember that. We're not children."

Roy continued to smile.

"And no one who lets their emotions control them so easily as to burst into anger at random moments can be an adult." He meant it. Edward wasn't a child or an adult, and so Roy was curious as to what Edward thought of himself. "So what are you?"

"I'm me."

"And you're short."

"I AM NOT!"

The seventh tally mark was marked. Roy leaned his head on the glass, looking out over the hills. This would be a long train ride, he mused, but at least he'd brought entertainment...

* * *

Six hundred and fifty-three tally marks and three days later, they arrived at the town of Thornsden. Edward had complained the entire ride there about how the train was too cramped, but now that he was off the train, he was complaining that the town was too cramped.

"What do we need to do, Edward?" Roy asked. "Send you up in a hot air balloon? For something so small, you sure need a lot of space."

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL!"

Roy had long since tired of the tallying game, but Edward's Outbursts never ceased to amaze him, so he just smirked at Edward as they walked to the hotel they were staying in. they were going incognito, dressing as civilians instead of military officers, so Roy had changed out of his uniform and was wearing casual clothing. Edward had refused to change from his usual overcoat and black clothing, stating that his artificial limbs would give him away more than his usual clothing. Roy had had to agree with him on that one, though he'd acted like he was doing it to shut Edward up.

"Not too shabby," Ed commented as they entered. "Pretty nice, actually. You're rich, old man."

"Yes, half-pint, I'm loaded."

"DON'T SAY THAT!"

Roy smiled at the woman behind the desk, who was looking confused. Instantly she fell under his spell, leaving Ed grumbling under his breath about air-headed bastards and dumb women.

It didn't take them long to get to their room. HQ had said granting them two rooms was a waste, but they did at least provide two spacious double beds, to which Edward was eternally grateful. He immediately claimed the left one as his ("I'm a lefty now so I might as well go all the way!") and put his suitcase by the foot of the bed, leaning against the wall. Roy shook his head and stashed his own suitcase away as well, with less flourish. Edward was still childlike in some ways.

Their first priority was to find the local police and "bait" a building. There was a certain type of building the psychos went after to blow up—they would find the next target, evacuate the people, and leave Edward and Roy in there to catch the criminals in the act.

The police were nice enough, Edward mused, but they seemed too...formal. And stiff. He didn't need everyone to treat him like a time bomb—he was virtually harmless unless someone else attacked him first.

Or called him short.

And he sure as hell didn't need all this _respect_. It was freaky. Getting called "sir" and whatnot. He wasn't "_sir_," he was _Edward_. Even _Fullmetal_ was better than _sir_...geez, they made him sound forty years old or something...

He had his mind zoned out for most of the time Roy was planning which building to lurk in. He was thinking of Alphonse, and of his promise to get his brother's body back. And of other inconsequential things, like what was for supper, and if there would be enough of it to fill him up.

But eventually he was dragged to restaurant for dinner, and he gratefully pigged his way through three courses of food, at Roy's expense.

"Fine, stingy, I'll take the tip," Edward said. "You aren't like this with your women, are you? Cause if you are I don't see how you get dates—actually, I don't see how you get them in the first place."

Roy just laughed.

"Jealous, are we? Little Halfmetal wants girls of his own?"

"SHUT UP!"

Ed turned away from Roy and stalked back to the hotel. Halfway there, Roy stopped him.

"Let's go this way," he said, jerking his head towards an alley.

"I don't think I trust you enough to go with you into an uninhabited dark alley."

"Would you relax, we're taking a shortcut to the building we're baiting so I can show you where it is."

It looked normal enough, Edward decided. A children's school building, two stories high, located just by the river.

"So what is it about this building that makes us so sure they'll bomb it?"

"Because this building, Edward, will be the one with the most parents and children in it tomorrow. Our suspects use the bombs to take lives."

Ed frowned. "Right..."

"Eye-witnesses, since you weren't listening, have described several different masked men running from the scene just after the explosion. No weapon or explosive of any kind was found, which leads us to believe they were using—"

"—alchemy."

"Precisely. Tomorrow during school we'll evacuate the kids through the back door...let them go play out in the river for awhile. You and I will stay behind and catch whoever's doing this." Roy let his lips twitch upward. "You could always disguise as a schoolboy, Edward..."

"SHUT UP!"

"For the good of the mission! You'd be doing me a favor!"

"You and the mission both can kiss my ass!"

Roy smirked.

"Is that an _offer_, Fullmetal?" he asked, tone entirely condescending, one elegant eyebrow arched.

"You wish!" Ed turned away and stalked back down the alley, glad the darkness was hiding the slight blush on his face.

Because it just wouldn't _do_, he decided, for Mustang to find out he wasn't at all drawn to females, but leaned more towards men...of all the things he could blackmail Edward about, that one would absolutely have to be the worst.

* * *

Edward had no trouble falling asleep once they were back in the hotel. The bed was soft and comfortable, and the sound of the light breeze ruffling the tree branches outdoors made him drowsy. He opened the window so he could better hear the sound, and then peeled off his overcoat and collapsed into his bed without a thought. Roy just smirked at him, going into the bathroom to brush his teeth and groom properly before sleeping. He'd wait until Edward was asleep, then close the window. He was cold natured and wanted to keep warm.

Ed was sleeping on his stomach on top of the blankets when Roy went back into the room. The elder man rolled his eyes. What a kid. Teenagers, he mused, were so obsessed with sleep it didn't matter to them if they woke up with backaches.

Roy let out a sigh of exasperation. He really shouldn't let Ed sleep like that, he mused. He'd wake up with a backache or a stomachache or whatever stupid teenagers got when they slept like that. Really, the body just wasn't _built_, was it, to sleep that way?

Oh, but suppose he went to move him, and Edward woke up? He would never hear the end of that one.

"Fullmetal, wake up and go to bed properly," he said.

No effect. Edward snored on.

Roy frowned.

"This is a direct order—wake up."

But of course he couldn't follow orders if he was asleep. Maybe he was pretending...just to give him a heart attack or something. Well, only one way to test it.

"Hey, shrimp. Wake up!"

Ed continued to snore.

"Shorty, half pint, bean sprout!" Roy poked Ed hard in his flesh arm. "Hey, short stuff, get up. Wouldn't want the early bird to mistake you for the worm."

No response whatsoever. Roy was almost disappointed; he really did enjoying teasing Edward, and the younger alchemist made it all too easy for him.

"Yeah, he's asleep. Ed, you're such a pain..."

Roy let out a resigned little sigh (usually reserved for days when Hawkeye was feeling particularly trigger-happy and he just wanted to slack off), coming to his decision. Then he walked over to the bed, pulled off Ed's boots, black over shirt, and, after a moment's hesitation, the thick black pants Ed wore to keep his automail from showing, leaving him in his black shorts. (He had to remind himself it was an act of pure consideration—all he was doing was trying to help his subordinate sleep comfortably because he didn't want to be hindered in tomorrow's plans.) Roy picked Ed up, used his foot to kick down the blankets, and put him back down on the bed. Then he covered the boy with the blankets and undid the hair tie that held his braid together, running his fingers through the hair once to unbraid it. He laid the tie down on the shared nightstand and switched off the light.

He felt a little odd, but oh well. He really _didn't_ want Edward to sleep like that, if only to save himself some morning grumbling. He wondered for a moment if he should fold the clothes, then decided although it would normally be fun to piss Edward off by doing so, he didn't want to deal with a grumpy teenager in the morning, and left them on the floor where they were.

What work. To think of what poor Alphonse had to put up with...

Edward was such a _pain_.

Roy stripped down to his boxers and a white undershirt, neatly folding his dirty clothing and putting it by the foot of his bed. He turned down his blankets and went to the bathroom again for a drink of water. He came back and was about to crawl in bed when he hard Edward give a soft moan from his bed.

"Edward, I'm sure you can wait until you get home to do that, can't you?"

Ed didn't answer, just let out another sound. Roy frowned and walked over to the bed, glaring down at him. Edward turned over, clutching his blankets, a distinct look of fear written all over his face.

"_Mom..._"

Roy felt his glare turn into an open-mouthed look of disbelief. He shut his mouth quickly and knelt by the bed.

"Edward?"

"Mom...Al...I'm so _sorry_..."

Something deep in Roy was hurting. He didn't know what exactly it was. Pity, maybe, sympathy. He'd had his own share of nightmares and ghosts.

"Edward...you're just dreaming."

It didn't help. Ed buried his face in the pillow and mumbled again. Roy sighed, then crawled into bed next to the young alchemist and wrapped his arms around him. Ed's shaking grew less intense, then finally stopped altogether, and he stopped mumbling. Roy, satisfied, got back out of bed, but as soon as he did, he could hear Edward mumbling in his sleep again, frantic.

"I'm sorry...no please Al...please don't hate me...I'm sorry..."

"Oh, seriously?" Roy asked, exasperated.

"No, no..." Ed twisted in his sleep.

He really was _such_ a _pain_...

Roy got back in bed and put his arms back around Ed. At once, Ed quieted again.

"I'm seeing this and I don't even believe it." How did Al deal with this problem? Roy sighed. "You _are_ a pain," he said with conviction. He made a soft, amused noise. "A _little_ pain, but you're still a pain..."

Roy closed his eyes and decided to sleep. He didn't dream, but when he awoke next the window was letting in a pale grey light. He glanced at the clock: six in the morning. Roy carefully got up out of the bed and got ready to begin his day. He was as quiet as possible, so that Edward wouldn't know he'd been there.

Because it just wouldn't _do_, he decided, for Edward to find out he wasn't entirely drawn towards the females, and leaned a bit towards men...of all the things for Ed to use as insults to fight the short jokes with, that one would absolutely have to be the worst.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes:** All right, Chapter Two's all done and ready to post! There wasn't much to revise here, so thankfully it didn't take too long. If you've never read this story before, a lot of stuff in this chapter will show up later, so try not to skim too much!

Chapter Two

"_Geez_. You primp like a _woman_, Mustang."

Edward was staring at Roy in disbelief. The man had gotten up at least an hour before Edward had even _thought_ about waking up, Edward was sure. Roy had quietly made his bed, gotten a shower, combed through his hair a million times, had carefully gotten dressed after fifteen minutes of _trying decide what to put on_ out of the neatly folded stack of clothing in his suitcase, put on cologne, and, for the purpose of looking like a civilian, donned a fancy ring and a golden wristwatch.

And it had taken him _forever_.

Edward, on the other hand, like any normal sleep-deprived teenager, had stumbled out of bed five minutes after knocking the still-ringing alarm clock to the floor. He had let the covers fall to the floor, and looked under his bed for his suitcase, hitting his head while doing so. Getting the suitcase out from under the bed (he had no idea how it had gotten there, but it had), he dropped it loudly it in the middle of the floor and opened it. Clothes spilled out from it as it popped open—several black pants, black over shirts and tank tops, all wrinkled and some inside out. He tried to find a matching set, but finally gave it up, cursing, and kicking the suitcase back under the bed. He'd picked up his dirty clothes from the floor, shook them out, and put them on. He'd found a free deodorant under the sink, and had sprayed that on over his clothes. Then he sat down on the bed to braid his hair.

That had taken him about ten minutes, and if he had been awake, it'd've only taken him five.

What a _waste_ of time. Why didn't Mustang _sleep_, like normal people did?

"Ah, Fullmetal. Just because one has proper hygiene doesn't mean they're feminine." Though he had to admit to himself he could be pretty girly about his grooming habits, he wasn't about to admit it to Edward. "Besides, look at you. If you're so into being manly you should cut that mane of yours."

Not that he actually wanted Edward to cut it. He thought it looked nice...attractive, even.

"My hair is my business, Colonel Smirk." Edward hadn't cut his hair once since the day he had transmuted his mother. He decided he never would again, not until he got Al's body back or until it got so long it seriously hampered his ability to walk around normally. It was almost like a time limit to him: _Get Al's body back before old women start mistaking you as a girl._

"If you say so," Roy said, shrugging. "But you haven't got a right in the world to call me girly." He paused, and let a grin grace his features, since his back was to Edward. He debated with himself a moment, then decided to go ahead and cave to temptation. He added, pointedly, "You little shrimp."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!"

Ahh, the joys of having a good dog to entertain you...

* * *

"And let's just say that we wait here all _freaking_ day and no one show up?"

"Then we'll come back tomorrow, Edward. Have patience. And a little faith in the intelligence of your superiors, _really_. We picked out the location very carefully. Today was supposed to be the day of a school play. There would have been lots of people here. They'll bomb it."

"The only superior I know of has the intelligence of a rock—"

"Excellent, we'll make quite a team then, since you're about the size of one—"

"SHUT UP!"

"Quiet!" Roy ordered. "No yelling."

"Then no short jokes," Ed said.

"I'll think on it, shrimp."

"Why you—"

And on and on it went. Roy just couldn't give it a rest; every time he cracked one Ed went haywire, and it was too much fun to give up on.

Roy and Edward were sitting in the main room of the school as they argued, completely alone, a high ceiling towering above them, the rafters silent and empty. This was the largest room and the most feasible place for a bomb. Putting one here, Roy had said, would make the entire school collapse on itself.

"And how are you so smart to know that?" Ed had demanded.

"I fought in the civil _war_. Killing people was my job," Roy had replied testily. "Believe me, I _know_ what I'm talking about on the subject of deadly explosions."

And Edward had mumbled an apology, and hadn't questioned further. Roy had mumbled an apology too, and had then somehow brought around the conversation to Edward being short and impatient, which left them where they were now.

"I dunno, I don't _see_ anyone," Ed said. "How do we know they're going to show, anyways? I mean they could know what we're up to by now, and they've just decided to bail out and go ho—"

Someone had dropped down from above and tackled Edward to the ground. He was taken by surprise, but quickly managed to turn it around so he was pinning the person down. Roy helped him, grabbing the man's arms while Ed sat on and pinned the man's legs. He was of an average build, and had a mask on that covered almost his entire face.

"Who are you?" Ed demanded, transmuting his arm into a blade and holding it at the man's throat. "Answer me!"

His only response was a dry laugh.

"Wrath, I think they're looking to play. You want to come out and play with them?"

Ed frowned. "What—?"

Another figure dropped down from the rafters, landing on Roy. Roy was pushed off the first man to wrestle with the second figure, a kid with long, dark hair. Ed felt sick with the recognition of the homunculus Wrath. So, if one of the homunculi was here...then the man below him had to be—

"Surprised?" the man asked, pushing Edward off of him. There was a brief flash of light and the homunculus Envy was standing before him. He had his orders from his master—he needed lives for the creation of the Philosopher's Stone. And if Edward's life had to go in it too, then so be it. The boy was too much trouble to let live, and Envy had no qualms with seeing the kid suffer; he yearned for it. "Come on, pipsqueak, let's see what you've got!"

"You're gonna pay for that pipsqueak comment," Edward growled, charging.

"Not today!" Envy laughed, jumping out of the way. "Let's blow it to hell! I'll go outside to be the distraction!"

Ed's jaw dropped in horror as Wrath moved to the middle of the room, threw Roy off of him, and used his right arm to mold with the floor. Edward had just realized that the homunculi could blow up the building while still inside—they would regenerate after the explosion killed them.

Roy and Edward, of course, had no such abilities.

"Run!" Ed yelled.

"Right!" Roy agreed.

"Right? I thought it left!"

Ed went one way, Roy another. The walls of the building shook and started to glow white. Ed skidded around a corner, only to find himself back in the main room. He'd gotten lost! Wrath was there, somehow transmuting himself and the building into a bomb—and he had apparently gotten good at it.

"Back for more?" Wrath asked. "After this _both_ your arms and legs will be mine!"

"Sorry kid, they're not for sale!"

Ed ran toward him, trying to yank him away from the floor. But it was too late. Wrath grinned at him, and then all Edward saw was flames. They consumed his vision and his senses, reminding him of Roy.

_I always did hate fire, didn't I...?_

Everything went black.

* * *

"Edward?" Roy called, walking around to the back of the school. "Edward!"

People had gathered, looking at the site with fear. Roy touched one woman's arm.

"Ma'am, have you seen a small kid with blonde hair? In a braid? No? Okay, thank you anyway."

He walked around the heap of burning rubble again. He was becoming worried. "Edward Elric! Answer me!"

No response.

"Edward!" Roy called again, this time more urgently. As he yelled, he tried his best to deprive the fire of fuel by decreasing the oxygen in the air around the building. But he didn't take away too much, for fear of suffocating Edward.

"Edward! Answer me!"

His cries became more frantic as panic took him over.

"Edward, _answer_ me! Edward? Edward! _Edward!_"

Where was he?

"Edward! You can't die, Ed! Edward!"

Roy felt himself start to choke up. Not this kid...! Not Edward, he couldn't be dead...

"_Fullmetal, where the hell are you?_"

* * *

_Fullmetal...someone is screaming for Fullmetal..._

_Who is Fullmetal?_

_Everything is burning around me. It's hot, too hot, but I don't want to move. I'm tired._

_But I really feel like I should get out of here. Someone wants me to..._

_Who is that guy? Why is he screaming for Fullmetal?_

_I have to get out..._

_So I can find out who Fullmetal is..._

* * *

"I can't find my subordinate," Roy said breathlessly to the local police. "You've got to go in there and help me look for him."

"Colonel, we have to put out that fire first. People will get hurt—it's suicidal for anyone to go in there right now. Please be patient. We're doing the best we can."

"Damn it, do better! He could be burning to death in there!"

"We're doing all we can..."

"Edward!" Roy ran to the back of the building, where the officers couldn't stop him from standing close to the wreckage and yelling to Edward. He tried to go in, once, but several nearby onlookers grabbed him around the arms and pulled him back. "Fullmetal, can you hear me? Get up and move! That's an order! Move forward on those damn legs of yours and get out of that building!"

* * *

_Move forward, eh? Sounds familiar. Kind of catchy, too. I should do that._

_Moving forward. Oh, but my legs hurt. My arms hurt. Everything hurts, especially my head—I kind of wish he'd quit yelling and let me go to sleep._

_But he won't, he won't, it's so loud and annoying. I should get up and tell him to stop..._

_But I'm tired... _

* * *

"You little shrimp, get out here!" Roy yelled, struggling against the people holding him back. "I mean it, Fullmetal. _Get your short self out of that building!_"

* * *

_And just _who_ does he think he's calling little?_

_I'll get out of here and show him...or maybe I'll let whoever Fullmetal is do it._

_But no! It's too hot now. Very hot. It hurts. I should get out. _

_Damn it, and I was sleeping, too._

_And he called _me_ a pain._

_I always did hate fire, didn't I...?_

His eyes snapped open. Blurry, everything was blurry. And red, and orange, and bright, and so very hot. He groaned, stumbling to his feet. He saw blood on his hands, on his gloves that had been mostly burned off, on his legs and all over him, but that didn't worry him as much as the flames eating away and the left leg of his pants. He stamped the fire out with a cry, then suffered another shock as he saw his leg; it was made of metal! Why?

But there was no time to think. He had to get out of here. Fires were dangerous and he was smack in the middle of a bad one.

So he walked towards what seemed like the area that was burning the least. He stumbled through the burning wreckage for what seemed like forever, no sense of time or thought, only knowing he had to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. Eventually, he caught sight of someone in the flames.

"Hello?" he called hoarsely. Was that person here to help him?

"Pipsqueak?" the figure asked. It grinned. "Ah, it's _little_ Edward."

"What...?"

The figure shook out its long hair. There was a light, and then it transformed into someone else. He jumped back in surprise, of seeing a person do that.

"Come on," the new person said. It was a man wearing a blue uniform, and had dark hair and dark eyes. "It's me, Colonel Bastard. I just called you short. Aren't you going to throw a punch?"

"Who...? I don't remember."

Another flash, and there was a little kid half his height, looking up with big brown eyes. "Big Brother! Don't punch me, please!" The kid let out a maniacal laugh, doubling over with it. Now the person transformed back, still grinning. This person knew what had happened to the kid, and couldn't be happier.

"You don't even know who you are, do you?" A smirk graced thin lips. "Ohh, that's great. Now you won't even be able to cry for that tin can of yours as you burn to death."

"Tin can...?"

"Yes, tin can." The person laughed. "Even if you do make it out...you'll remember nothing, or maybe just enough to drive you crazy. A hell worse than death. You can have it. I'm interested, now."

The figure stepped aside.

"_Don't_ forget that Envy let you live, shorty. Out is that way—I don't care if you make it or not."

And then it—Envy—transformed into yet another man, one with a mask, and ran out of sight, going in the opposite direction of the exit he had pointed to.

_I'm confused. What was he talking about? Who was he?_

_It's hot..._

_Wait._

_There's the exit._

He stumbled to it, looking for a way out. He glimpsed green—a river and some trees. He went for it, feeling relief, but all the sudden several planks crashed in front of him, blocking off the exit.

_No...!_

He grimaced. Now how was he going to get out?

He looked down at his hands. Geez...! One was made of metal. How creepy...a metal hand.

He was...full of metal...

But he couldn't get out.

Wait. Yes he could. He knew how. It involved his hands...

His weird, creepy, hands. But what did he do with them?

Oh, yes.

He had to _clap_.

He clapped his hands together almost before the thought came to him, then put them on the boards. Almost as if by magic, the wood splintered and fell apart, letting him see green once again. He saw the river and stumbled towards it, away from the voices yelling for Fullmetal, away from the heat, away from the wreckage.

He wanted the coolness of that river.

And after he fell in, he realized that metal arms and legs were bad for swimming.

But he clung to a piece of the building that had been blown into the river, and slowly he drifted downstream, closing his eyes for what he felt was a well-deserved rest.

_When I wake up, I'll find Fullmetal, and I'll tell him that they were looking for him..._


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes:** Sorry for all the pronouns here. I kept referring to Edward as "he" because I wasn't sure what to call him, and I didn't really want to change it.

Chapter Three

The funeral was horrible.

Roy had almost decided not to go, but in the end, Alphonse begged him, and so he went. To their hometown, where they were born and raised, where they lost their father ad mother, where they burned down their house and left without looking back. He went there with Alphonse. To bury an empty casket.

"I don't believe my brother is dead," Alphonse had told him, solemnly. "But if he is...I want to be respectful to him."

That was why the funeral was so horrible; Alphonse refused to believe Edward was dead.

And damn it, if Roy believed in such things, he would've said many times that they had always had this creepy kind of...telepathic link or something. They were closer than close, knew each other inside and out.

Roy had, at first, right after he explosion, gone totally numb, had started drinking, not willing to believe Edward had died so young, while under his command. But then he'd talked to Alphonse. Who was worried, but not distraught. Alphonse, who was dead certain that Edward was alive somewhere. Roy had begun to believe in this little seven-foot-tall boy. Yes, Alphonse insisted with absolute certainty that Ed was alive.

So, Roy concluded, Edward was alive.

Now there was the small matter—and of course everything with Edward was small, had to be, didn't it—of finding him.

The wreckage had turned up negative. There was no sign of a body, living or dead...which increased Roy's hope, and simply confirmed Alphonse's beliefs.

Everyone said they needed to stop thinking wishfully. That Ed's body had just burned up. But Roy knew, knew better than anyone, what burning flesh smelled like. And he had not smelled it.

And God, the funeral was so horrible.

Everyone _cried_.

Alphonse had hated them crying. How could they cry when they should be out looking for his brother? How could they claim to love him, when they had already given up on him Did they place no faith in Edward Elric? Human transmutation had not killed him—how could a mere explosion do him in?

"Al, he's gone," they told him. Each person who told him this cried, and they patted his big armored shoulder as if he could feel it, and they moved on. "Don't fool yourself, it will only hurt more in the end."

He was _not_ fooling himself.

"We'll find him," Roy told Alphonse quietly. "Come on, kid, let's get back to Central. No need in staying for the reception."

* * *

A young girl peered cautiously at the fruit stand before her. Stacked and overflowing with apples, bananas, oranges, grapes, pears, and other delicious looking snacks that made her mouth water. She wanted some desperately, but she had no money. If only the man would turn away for a few seconds...

But when he did, and she rushed forward, he turned back with a scowl. "Away! Away from here, you little thief!"

She made a small, scared noise and jumped back into the shadows of the buildings. No food for her for now. She walked back to the riverbed, wiping tears off of her dirty face. She couldn't steal—it had always been her older brother who had stolen food for them. Jonathan. How she missed him! If he hadn't gotten caught, then he would still be here. As it was, she would starve if she didn't learn to steal. It had only been two days since he had left, but she was already faint from her hunger.

She sat by the river, getting a drink. At least she wouldn't be thirsty—water was free. She stuck her feet in, trying to get cool. Maybe she should leave Dublith, she thought. Go to another town where it was easier to steal things. But suppose Jonathan came back looking for her? No, she couldn't leave. She had to be a good little sister and wait for him!

She watched the fish swim for awhile. Usually there were lots of them, but now the river was almost empty. She looked upstream, wondering what had caused them to vanish.

She gasped. Wreckage, everywhere. Burnt up boards and ashes, making the water dirty. Something bad had happened up the river, to put all this junk here.

She needed this water to stay clean, so she got what she could by wading to the edge of the river. Board after board wound up on shore, even some pipelines and shingles. It was something to do other than cry, at least. She worked for a long time, pulling out everything she could.

She saw a really big piece of wreckage coming her way and stood back to let it pass. But as it did, she realized someone was clinging to it—a boy! A boy Jonathan's age! In fact—yes, that was Jonathan! He was blond like Jonathan, and dirty like Jonathan...

"Hey!" she shouted. "Jonathan! Wake up! Wake up! You're gonna drown!"

No response.

"Come on!" she said. She threw a rock at him, which hit him squarely on the head. To her relief, his eyes fluttered open and he sat up, almost losing balance and plunging into the water.

"Where am I...?" he asked himself, shaking his head and clinging to the board with numb fingers.

"Hey!" the girl shouted, waving her arms. "Hey, Jonathan, you gotta get out of the water!"

"Huh?" he looked up, and blinked at her. "I can't swim," he said, hoarsely. "My arms and legs..." Were metal. Too heavy.

"I know," she said. "But you gotta get out, there's a waterfall coming up soon, remember?" She started walking to keep up with the current of the river, that was pulling him slowly away from her. "Hey, wait there!" she said, like he had a choice. "I got an idea!"

She raced back to her junk, and got some of the twisted, burnt pipe. It was long enough so that he could reach out and grab it.

"Here," she said, holding it out.

"Won't I drag you in?"

"No," she said ."It's shallow here, remember? Just too deep for me cause I'm little. But you're big, you can make it."

"I'm big...?" This stirred something in his brain, but he ignored it reached out for the pipe, grabbed on, and managed to stumble and flounder to the edge of the river, coughing.

"Are you okay?" the little girl asked him, kneeling beside him.

"Yeah," he said. "Where am I?"

"Dublith River," she answered.

"Okay," he said, sitting back. "I still don't know where that is."

"You remember. The river that runs through Dub—"

"Well, I figured that, but I don't know what Dublith is." He looked sick. "I _can't_ remember. I knew it once. But I don't."

The little girl studied him closely, than gasped. "Your arm and leg! They're metal!" Tears filled her eyes. "What happened to them, Jonathan?"

"I...I don't remember." He started shaking. "I can't remember anything! Not my name, not where I am, not even who you are!"

"You don't remember me?" she asked. "Come on...I'm Janey. Your _sister_. You _have_ to remember me!"

"I don't. I'm so sorry. Can't you please tell me my name?"

"It's _Jonathan_," Janey supplied.

"Oh...Jonathan." That didn't feel right. "Who's Fullmetal?"

Janey shrugged. "I dunno. Why?"

"I don't remember. Janey, you have to help me remember. Tell me about our lives. About my life. Tell me who I am."

"You're my big brother Jonathan," Janey said. "I'm six and you're thirteen. We're orphans and we ain't got no house because it burned up. Mommy and Daddy died, but you said you'd take care of me...and you have. You and me steal food to eat, except one day you got caught and they took you away. I missed you so much...!"

* * *

"Any sign of him?" Roy asked Alphonse. Al shook his head and sat on the bench next to Roy.

"No. I asked everyone in the west side of town, but they said all the wreckage from the river has already drifted past here. If he was in the river, he's not here."

"No one in the east side knows anything, either," Roy said, frustrated. "The next town along the river is Dublith."

"Oh no...my teacher lives there. No one told her about Edward yet..."

"Well, maybe she can help us."

"She hates the military," Alphonse warned. "She wasn't happy with Ed the last time she saw us."

"Ah, I know...but do you think she'll help us look?"

"Maybe. I can't ever predict what Teacher will do, except get angry."

Roy laughed. "Sounds like Ed, if you ask me."

"They...do tend to clash. A lot like Ed and Winry really."

"He have a thing for her or something?"

"No, he's—he's just friends with her."

"I see. So, would you like to head out now, or wait until tomorrow morning?"

Al could tell Roy was exhausted. He had watched Edward try to hide exhaustion for so long he knew the signs.

"We can wait until tomorrow morning, Colonel. Why don't we check back in the inn so you can get some rest?"

Roy chuckled. "You read people really well, Al." He gently knocked him on the side of the shoulder, and got up. He began to walk, Al following behind him. If a suit of armor could have smiled, Alphonse would have been smiling then.

* * *

Janey sat with her older brother by the river.

"So do you remember anything yet?"

He shook his head. "No...I'm sorry. I don't remember how I got like this or what happened."

Her eyes filled with tears.

"But I'm your sister."

Guilt rushed over him, and for the first time, he realized he did indeed feel a need to be the big brother here, to protect Janey. "I'm sorry." He hesitated, then asked, "Are you hungry? You want me to get you something to eat?"

Janey perked up. Jonathan did remember some, she decided, if he could still steal! "Okay! But don't get caught this time!"

"Okay." He'd try, anyway. "Where do we usually steal from?"

Janey pointed to he usual stands, and told him all about Jonathan's usual distractions and methods. He nodded, again and again.

"Think you can do it?"

"I hope so. I'm hungry, too."

He went forward, looking normal, and picked up some fruit to buy. He dug in his pocket, pretending to look for money, and the vendor ducked under the counter to get change.

And he ran like hell with the sack of fruit clutched at his side. Janey cheered him on until they were back at the riverbed, out of sight. Then they collapsed by a old oak tree and opened up the sack to their feast.

_Finally,_ Janey thought. _Food._

* * *

Janey spent the night happily curled up with the boy who had gotten food for her. She was so happy to have her brother back—she just wished he could remember who he was. If he could remember she'd be so much happier...

Unless he wasn't Jonathan.

She felt a twinge of guilt; this boy looked a lot like Jonathan, was even quick witted and fast like Jonathan, but wasn't it wrong to replace her brother with someone who couldn't remember?

No. It couldn't've been wrong. This...was Jonathan. She just knew it. So what if his hair had gotten longer, and his arms and legs were different? He had stolen for her just like before. And now, just like before, they were sleeping by the river bed. This was right, the way it was supposed to be, the way it had been ever since her parents had been burned up with their house. Jonathan would take care of her, she knew.

She knew he would.

She couldn't lose Jonathan...

* * *

Janey woke during the night to find him shaking in his sleep. She didn't know what was the matter.

"Jonathan." She put her tiny hands on his metal shoulder and shook. "Wake up."

"Alphonse," he breathed. "Al, I'm sorry...Al. Al, come back!"

He was scaring her!

"Wake up!"

He did; he jerked to consciousness with a cry.

"What were you dreaming about?"

"I don't remember." He was shaking, his eyes were wide and darting everywhere. She had never seen Jonathan look so terrified.

"Who's Alphonse? You were calling for Alphonse."

He looked upset. He needed to remember. He _needed_ to.

But he couldn't.

And admitting he couldn't felt like being punched in the gut.

"I don't know."

And he rolled over onto his side, laying awake until dawn, refusing to let Janey see he was crying.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes:** Good grief, not even through putting this thing up and already I've gotten reviews! Thanks so much; you really make my day. Remember, if anything's confusing, don't hesitate to ask. I encourage anon reviewers to sign up on the site; it only takes a moment and I can't reply to your review or tell you thank you unless you do!

Chapter Four

He stole paper the next morning.

He was actually surprised at how well he knew his way around the town. He'd have thought the memory loss would blot that out, too, but Janey had assured him that he'd always known his way around Dublith. Which was why he didn't find it hard to beg a pen off a stranger (he knew where the business district was and knew the people there were more likely to actually _have_ pens on them), and to steal a notepad off the fruit vendor's desk when the man wasn't looking.

"Why?" Janey asked him. "Are you going to teach me to read and write?"

"You mean you don't know how?" he asked her.

"No. I never learned. Is it hard?"

"Not really..." He sat down with his notepad and pen. He picked up the pen with his right hand and tried to hold it. It felt...wrong. He tried again and again, but it just wouldn't work for him. His hand just didn't have motor skills.

"Looks hard to me."

"Maybe I should switch hands." He did, and it felt better. He was easily able to write now.

"It's not too hard. Look. This is the first letter of the alphabet." He wrote it down for her to see, and then finished the word. _Alphonse._

"What are you doing?"

"I'm making a list of everything I've remembered on my own. Every...clue I have..." He didn't want to say _To who I really am_ because it would only upset her. Maybe he was Jonathan, maybe he wasn't, but either way he had to take care of Janey.

"Will it help?" she asked.

"I hope so."

He kept writing, thinking for about thirty minutes. When he was done, his list read:

_Alphonse  
Fullmetal  
Fire  
Envy  
Tin can (?)  
Clapping (?)  
Being a big brother_

"That's not a lot," he mumbled to Janey. "I see faces and things like that, but how can I write down a face?"

"Write down what it looks like, or draw it," Janey suggested.

"I don't think I can draw. Can I?"

"I've never seen you try."

He tried; it was horrible. The person with dark hair and dark eyes looked nothing like the face in his memory, and the suit of armor looked just as bad. He scratched out the pictures and threw the papers he'd drawn them on away. But still, he jotted them down: _Armor, Colonel Bastard._

He had matched the name with the face. The person called Envy had referred to himself as Colonel Bastard when he transformed into that person. So, if he could find Colonel Bastard, whoever or wherever he was, he could get more answers.

Really, though, he had been told who he was. He'd been given answers.

But not all of them.

Janey hadn't provided all his answers.

If she knew everything and she was right about it all, then why wasn't he remembering? Something didn't feel right.

"What else do you see?" Janey asked. He closed his eyes, but those dark eyes filled his mind. He waited. Eventually, they shifted, consumed by burning flames. The flames became something else, and a house was burning. He was looking at a burning house. _His_ house.

His _home_.

He jotted the word down on his list, and then added the word _fire_ next to it, in smaller print.

Janey had told them their parents died in a fire. Was that what he was seeing?

The house made him think of something else. A watch—not the watch. The watch was useless. The date. October 3rd, 1910.

"Nina," he asked, "do you know of anything special that we talk about in October? On the third?"

"I'm Janey," Janey said, looking confused. "My name isn't Nina."

"Oh. It isn't, is it? I'm sorry." How odd. Who was Nina? He wrote the name down, adding it to his list. "But tell me, does the date mean anything to us?"

"No."

He hadn't really thought she would know. Maybe that was the date their parents had died? He sighed as she snuggled up to him. Maybe she was right. He was starting to get kind of attached to her, after all. Brotherly feelings of love?

But he still needed answers.

He jotted down the date and the word _watch_. He tried to think, but there was no more. Those dark eyes just came back, consuming his brain.

"I'm going for a walk," he said. "Stay here and draw." He tore off the piece of paper he'd written on and folded it, putting it in his pocket.

"Wait," Janey said, clinging to his sleeve. "You'll be back, right? Please don't leave again, Jonathan! I need you!" She started to cry, a little, and he felt his heartstrings tug.

"No. No, of course not. I am your brother, right?" Something dawned on him. He spoke slowly. "It's my responsibility...as a big brother...to keep my younger sibling safe..."

It really, actually felt right. He smiled down at Janey—at his sister. He felt a little more sure now. It just made sense, being a big brother. It seemed to click.

"No, I won't leave you. I promise I'll be back. I just need to walk awhile. Stay here and I'll come back as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay, Jonathan." She smiled at him, reassured. "See you soon, big brother!"

_Big brother,_ he mused as he walked away from the riverbed. _Yes, big brother sounds right...maybe Janey is finally helping me regain my memories after all._

* * *

Izumi was not happy.

Izumi was _not_ happy.

Izumi was probably about the angriest person on the planet.

And that was _before_ she heard about her student's untimely death.

"They didn't send out a _search_ party?" she roared. "They didn't even bother to _look_ for him? They just held his _funeral_ and they were _done_?"

"Y-yes, Teacher," Alphonse stammered. "I thought it was unfair too, so I was hoping you could help us look for Brother—"

"Who is this 'us'?" Izumi demanded. "I only see one of you."

"Um...my...my friend. Let me get him." Alphonse went to the door of the butcher's shop and opened the door. "I think it's safe for you to come in now. But be careful!"

There was a soft chuckle, and through the door walked Roy Mustang. His coat was folded over his arm, but he was wearing the uniform that Izumi detested so much.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," he said with a deep bow. "My name is Roy Mus—"

Before he could finish his sentence, he felt something whoosh past his ear. He froze, eyes wide, and slowly turned. A knife was quivering in the wall.

"—_tang?_" This last syllable was in a much higher octave than his usual, smooth, ladies man voice.

"What," Izumi demanded of Alphonse, "IS A STATE ALCHEMIST DOING IN MY SHOP!"

"Teacher, please!" Alphonse cried. "He wants to help look for my brother! He's the only one who believed me! If not for him, I wouldn't have come this far! Please, Teacher—we need your help."

Izumi _glared_. Alphonse knelt before her and kept his gaze on her face.

"Teacher, I _will_ find my brother. With or without your help."

Izumi stared at him. Then she looked away. She never could say no to those damn kids...

"Please, don't make me do it without you," Alphonse pled. "Please help us."

_He doesn't even have eyes and I cave. Man, I'm getting too soft._

"_Fine,_" she snapped suddenly, causing Roy and Al both to jump. "I'll help you look around here. Al, you search the city. I'll search the riverbed. You, State Alchemist!"

Roy jumped to attention before he could stop himself. "Ma'am!"

"What's your relation to Edward?"

_I think I'm in love with him._

"Er...I'm his commanding officer, ma'am." Roy relaxed his posture, embarrassed.

"Hmm," Izumi said, glaring at Roy. "You can look with Alphonse—unless you'd rather search the riverbed with me?" she asked dangerously, eyes narrowing.

"No," said Roy hastily. "Al and I will be able to cover more ground in town. Thank you, ma'am."

He and Al scurried out the door. Izumi let a soft smile cross her face.

"They are very dedicated, aren't they, Sig?"

"Yes," said her husband from the shadows. "Izumi...do you really think Edward is dead?"

"Hm?" Izumi looked back at Sig and shrugged. "I don't guess, not if Al won't believe it. Besides, no student of mine dies so easily. Pah, an explosion..."

"Want me to help search?"

"Nah, you can stay here and tend the shop. I'll be back." Izumi waved with one hand and walked out the door.

* * *

Splitting up...was _not_ a good idea.

Oh, sure, it worked fine in all the other towns. Roy and Al had been able to cover ground quickly and efficiently, making their search time less. It was a good plan, a good method, one that had seen too much practice.

But in Dublith...splitting up was not a good Al, Roy had not spent a month of his childhood here training. He didn't know these streets, these places, these people. It was foreign to him.

In short, Roy was _lost_.

He had changed into civilian clothes—it helped him avoid dirty looks and made passing strangers more open to questions. He had asked several people about a boy with automail—no luck. He had scoured his half of the city, and had looked so thoroughly that he'd gotten himself lost in the alleyways and streets.

Not that he was so sure he'd go back onto the main streets of his own free will with how this town viewed the military, but he was now trying to find out where the _hell_ the butcher's shop was.

And, like any self-respecting man, he refused to ask for directions.

Giving up momentarily, Roy sat down on the nearest bench, thinking hard. He had come from that place to his left...so he could go right and see what that way...or he could backtrack and try a new path...

Both choices were great ways to get himself _more_ lost. Oh well.

Time to shove his pride and ask for directions.

* * *

He walked the streets alone, thinking.

People shied away from him; a metal arm and leg were visible under his tattered black clothing and they were frightening to everyone, himself included. His hair had been pulled back again, but had come out of its initial braid. It looked messy and disheveled like Janey's hair. And, like Janey, he was very dirty.

So many similarities between he and Janey...at first he didn't think it felt right, her being his sister, but he was slowly falling into the belief that he had always been here and lived like this. Why his heart was aching for more, he couldn't remember. He couldn't fit what broken pieces he could remember into Janey's story. He didn't know what he would do if he found out that Janey wasn't his sister. What if she was wrong? Who was he, then, really? He felt like a big brother, like her big brother, but...

"My name is Jonathan," he whispered, trying the words out. They didn't sit right and he didn't like it. He _wanted_ to know.

He _wanted_ Janey to be right.

He looked across into the glass window of a shop.

"Or is it?" he whispered to his reflection. "What _is_ my name? _What is my name?_"

"Hey! Excuse me!"

He turned. A man ran towards him and then stopped, hands on his knees.

"I'm looking for the butcher's shop, owned by the Curtis couple," the man panted. "Could you tell me..."

The strange man stopped as he rose, and the two took in one another's faces. Golden eyes and unkempt hair, eyes round with shock, looking pale and sickly, like someone back from the dead. The older man's face was quite a surprise to the younger; also pale, but with dark hair and dark eyes, eyes that were also wide with disbelief.

"_Fullmetal?_"

And the only thing the nameless young man could find himself thinking was that he always _did_ hate fire...


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes:** Not much action in this chapter...took me awhile to clear up the head-hopping in the scene with Janey and Izumi, but other than that, no trouble here!

Chapter Five

"_Fullmetal?_"

Roy couldn't believe it. After all that looking and getting lost, here he was, when Roy had already given up on his side of town! After the funeral and the crying and the drinking...the sleepless nights of wondering if Alphonse was _really_ right...he had finally found proof that Edward was still in this world after all.

"Fullmetal," Roy choked. "No...Edward...we've been looking _everywhere_ for you! Everyone thought you were...God, you look terrible. Where have you been?" Roy placed a hand on Edward's arm, but the younger boy jerked away.

"Who—who the _hell_ are you?"

A frown creased Roy's features. He felt the surge of emotion in him die down a little as worry took over.

"You know me. Good old Colonel Bastard, remember?"

Ed frowned, also confused.

"En...Envy?" With a snarl, and he stepped backwards, glaring at the man before him. "Unless you're going to tell me who I am, then you just leave me the hell alone!"

"What are you talking ab—?"

"Keep away!"

When Roy stepped forward, Ed stepped back again. And then he took off running.

And Roy ran after him, but, he knew, his chances of finding Ed and not getting lost at the same time were slim to none.

Man, had splitting up _ever_ been a bad idea...

* * *

Janey was drawing. Drawing Jonathan, drawing her house that had burned down, drawing a mother and father she could barely remember. She was happy to do such a normal thing—normally she never got to draw. She would finish one picture proudly and then flip the paper over to begin a new one.

She had two pictures of Jonathan: one of the old Jonathan, and one of the new Jonathan. They looked sort of alike, but sort of different. The old Jonathan had shorter hair and real wrms and legs, and the new one kept his hair pulled back and had metal all over him... With guilt, she shoved both pictures under the notepad and started to draw herself.

"Excuse me."

Janey looked up with a terrified squeak. There was a woman standing there, with her hands on her hips, looking down at her. Janey, frightened of strangers, hurried to gather up her papers and pictures, holding them close to her.

"What do you want?" she whimpered, backing away and dropping her drawing of the new Jonathan.

The woman smiled, but it didn't make Janey less afraid. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

Janey stared at her mistrustfully. The officers looking to arrest her brother had said the same thing.

"Are you...are you looking for Jonathan?" she asked.

The woman's eyes moved down to the picture Janey had dropped. She picked it up, stared at it for moment, and held it out to Janey. "You dropped this," she said.

Janey snatched it away, but her guard was lowered a little, now. She just had to know... "Are you looking for Jonathan or not?"

"Well," the woman said slowly, kneeling before Janey to be at eye-level, "I don't know any Jonathan. I'm looking for a boy named Edward."

"You're not looking for my brother? You won't take him away?"

"No, I won't take him." The woman frowned "Can you tell me your name?"

"I—I'm Janey."

The woman smiled.

"Janey. What a pretty name. My name is Miss Izumi. Can you tell me where your parents are?"

"They're gone," Janey said tearfully. "They burned up in our house."

Izumi's face changed. She looked sad, now. "How long ago was it?"

"Three years. We've here lived together ever since."

"And _where_ do you live?"

"Here. Right here."

"You mean you don't have a house now?"

"No."

Izumi seemed startled, and she stood up abruptly. "Well, I'll tell you what. You can come with me and we'll look for Edward together. If you help me, I'll let you come to my house and take a nice, hot bath, and sleep in a warm bed."

Janey took a step back. Izumi took one back, too, raising her hands. "You don't have to come. I just thought I'd ask. I don't know if I can find Edward by myself."

"What about Jonathan?" Janey asked, voice full of doubt.

"You've got paper and pen there. Why don't we leave him a note?" Izumi suggested. "Then he can come look for Edward with us."

"Can he have a bath and a bed too?"

"He most certainly can."

"But I can't write!" Janey remembered suddenly.

"That's okay," Izumi assured her. "You tell me what to say and I'll write it for you. Then I'll help you sign your name at the bottom, okay?"

"Okay..."

* * *

Janey looked around herself happily. What a nice home! She had gotten a nice, long bath and was now eating real, cooked, food. She grinned at Izumi.

"You're such a nice lady. I wish you had started looking for Edward sooner."

"Yeah, me too," Izumi agreed with a nod. "Are you still hungry?"

"Nope, I'm full. Thank you."

Izumi smiled. "No problem. Now, you want to take a nap?"

"On a real bed, you mean? Really?"

"Really, on a real bed. Come on." Izumi took Janey's hand and led her upstairs to the guest bedroom where Ed and Al sometimes stayed. Janey squealed with glee and jumped on the bed in delight.

"It's so soft! Wow!"

Izumi had to smile again. She watched as Janey climbed off the bed, and picked up a picture sitting on the nightstand.

A picture of Edward and Alphonse.

"Who's this?" Janey asked warily.

"Oh, them? This little boy, the one on the right, that's Edward. The other one is Alphonse. They're students of mine."

"Edward's the one you're looking for?"

"Yes. He looks a little different now, though. He has an arm and leg made of metal, and he wears his hair in a braid."

Janey froze, recognizing the description. She put the picture down, and turned it away from the bed, unable to look at it any longer.

"Have you seen him?" Izumi asked Janey, curious as to how the child would answer. There had been that drawing, after all...

"No," Janey lied, feeling guilt and fear run through her. "No, I haven't." It _was_ her brother, after all. And she couldn't, she just couldn't, lose him again. She would die without him. She needed..._someone_...

Izumi was getting a faint idea of what had happened, but couldn't be sure. For now, she would let it slide. If she went too quickly, she might ruin it all. She smiled at Janey.

"I'll leave the picture here to help you remember what Edward looks like," Izumi said, turning the picture back around. "Later we can look for him, okay?"

"Okay..."

Izumi smiled and hugged Janey, who smiled up at her, troubles forgotten again. She was quickly tucked into bed, and Izumi, after checking over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching, placed a quick kiss on Janey's forehead.

"Have a good nap," Izumi whispered, leaving the door cracked. "After three years of sleeping on the ground, I'm sure you could use one."

* * *

Roy was completely lost.

Again.

And as misplaced as it was, all his trust was in Edward.

Because, though Edward had an automail leg that didn't get tired, and though he knew his way around Dublith better than Roy did, Roy had yet to lose him. And Roy kept running, and kept running, and _kept_ running, because he would _not_ lose him.

Not again.

_What_ would he tell Alphonse if he did?

They were at the riverbed. Edward had led them here, of all places. Why, Roy couldn't begin to guess. Surely he wasn't planning to jump in and swim away...not with automail...

But as it turned out, Edward had a completely different reason for going to the riverbed.

"Janey," Ed yelled. "Janey, where are you?"

All of a sudden, the younger male skidded to a halt in front of a single tree standing by the riverbed. Roy was unable to stop in time and ran into him, bouncing off and falling to the ground. With a yelp of surprise, Ed turned, fists raised.

"I said to get away from me!"

"Fine!" Roy said hastily, scrambling to his feet and backing up. His hands were raised. "I'll leave you alone if you just don't run away. But I just wish you'd tell me where you've been."

"Wait."

"What?"

"I _said_ to shut up a minute. I'm trying to read!" A folded note had been stuck to the tree, in between the place where the trunk was and where the bark had peeled off. Edward, hardly daring to remove his eyes from Roy, had quickly grabbed the note and unfolded it. "You move and I _will_ run. Not only that, but later I'll find you and kill you."

"Okay...fair enough..."

Ed looked down at the paper.

_Dear Jonathan,_

_I'm not here right now because a nice lady named Miss Izumi asked me to help her look for someone. She said she would give me food, a hot bath, and a soft bed to sleep in. But don't worry because she said you could come, too, and that she would take care of us. She says she lives in the butcher's shop on the other side of town, and to please come as soon as you find this note. I love you so please come fast._

_Love Janey_

Ed stared down at the paper, reading it over and over again. Was it some kind of trick? Bait, maybe? All he knew was that he had to find Janey. Being a big brother was the only thing he remembered; he _had_ to get it right.

While Edward had been reading, Roy had slowly knelt down and picked up a folded piece of paper that had fallen out of Edward's pocket. He slowly undid the folds of the grimy paper, and read what was written there.

_Alphonse  
Fullmetal  
Fire  
Envy  
Tin can (?)  
Clapping (?)  
Being a big brother  
Armor  
Colonel Bastard (dark hair, dark eyes)  
Home (fire)  
Nina  
__October 3rd, 1910__ (watch)_

Roy looked up from what he was reading. Ed looked up from what he was reading. Their eyes met. Edward was glaring at him.

Nothing new there.

"That's mine," Ed said in a low voice. "Give it back."

"What is it?"

"It's a list, can't you read?"

"Of what?"

"Of...of things that I've remembered. About myself. About anything."

"What?" Roy asked, dumbstruck.

"I _told_ you. It's all that I've been able to remember since one week ago, when my little sister Janey found me floating in the river, clinging to a piece of wreckage."

Shock flooded through Roy.

_That's...not good..._

And he found himself thinking it again...

_What_ was he going to tell Alphonse?


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes:** I always liked this chapter a lot. The way Roy convinces Edward to go with him was fun to write. The scene at the very end was a bit abrupt, so I tried to smooth it out some. hope I did okay.

Chapter Six

"You don't remember...anything?" Roy asked Edward.

"No, haven't you been listening? I don't...I don't remember anything at all. But my sister found me and told me who I was and..."

"She's lying," Roy said bluntly.

Ed glared at him, immediately put off. "Shut up." He snatched the paper out of Roy's hands. "I don't have to listen to you. I'm going to the butcher's shop to find my sister."

Roy saw his chance; a way back to Izumi's without getting lost. Perhaps the older woman had picked up this girl claiming to be Ed's sister.

"Your name is Edward, you know," Roy told the boy. "Sometimes called Fullmetal."

"You probably got the word Fullmetal from that piece of paper."

"You have a brother. Alphonse."

"Also written there. I don't believe Janey was lying. I won't believe anything you tell me. You left me in that burning building for dead or for anything else."

Roy would have felt better if Edward had punched him—with the automail. Guilt rushed over him. They _had_ split up due to his suggestion...and he was the one who confused Edward on which way to go to get out of the school...

"I thought you said you didn't remember anything," he said finally, hurt.

"I remember you. Envy, right? You can shape shift. You look like this now, but I've seen you look like other people, too. Right after woke up in the burning building, you told me I could die and you wouldn't care."

"Okay," Roy said, pulse slowing down. "Let's get one thing straight. I'm Roy Mustang, and not Envy."

"Prove it."

"That's impossible. Envy can match my every likeness."

"Then I've got nothing to say to you, Envy."

Roy grew frustrated. "Come on...I'm not Envy. I can prove you're Edward! Your teacher must have pictures, your brother can get through to you, if you'll just come with me—"

"No. I'm going to go find Janey."

They were going to the same place, anyway.

"Fine, go find her," Roy muttered. "But I'm following you. I'm sick of getting lost."

"Go to hell. You are _not_ following me."

Edward walked past him, and Roy pulled his gloves out of his pockets and put them on, ready to use force to stop him if he had to. A folded packet of papers fell out of his pocket and he looked down, surprised. Picking them up and unfolding them, he let his eyes go wide. This was it—the answer!

_Edward's Outbursts._

All six hundred and fifty-three of them.

" Wait!" Roy called to Edward. "Give me one more chance."

Ed didn't turn around, but he did stop walking.

"I can tell you something that's not on that paper," Roy said. "Something you will remember, I promise."

"And how will I know you're telling the truth?" Edward turned all the way around now.

"Oh you'll know, trust me," Roy said darkly. "I can say something that will make you so angry at me you'll come back here and probably...try to kill me." Good thing he had his gloves on.

"I'm already that angry at you, _Envy_," Ed said. "Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass." Ed turned away again and started walking.

_Please let this work,_ Roy thought desperately, crossing his fingers.

"Well, I figured that's what you'd say, Edward. Cause that's you all over, isn't it? Short attention span, short temper, short everything—you're so short you'd have to stand on your toes just to see over the grass."

Ed stopped dead in his tracks.

Silence. Ed was surprised to find his heart was thudding so hard in anger, or fear, or something else entirely. Then:

"_What_ did you say?"

Roy couldn't see his face, but he pulled up those short jokes like his life depended on it.

"I said you were _short_. A halfpint, a midget! A pip—"

Roy ducked; coming at him was that ever-familiar automail fist, and Roy knew all too well that it was not pleasant to be on the receiving end of that. Ed's fist embedded itself in the tree behind him, and Roy stood again, moving out of range of Ed's arm.

"—_squeak_," he finished, satisfied. "Believe me now?"

Ed turned back towards him, glaring.

"You really are a _bastard_!" Ed said in disbelief, angrier than he'd felt since waking up in the burning building.

Roy let out a slow breath, smiling. "Yeah. You said that all the time."

Ed glared at him. "Okay then...tell me something...if you know _so_ much about me, and I'm _really_ not Jonathan...then tell me...how I got like this."

He held his automail arm up.

Roy blinked at him, surprised.

"Edward, I don't think...that I'm the best one to tell you about that...I mean...you still dream about it, or I think you, wouldn't shut up when we were staying together..."

Ed took a step forward, grabbing Roy's arm. Roy almost jumped back at the unexpected contact; he was waiting for Edward to take another punch at him. But Ed's eyes didn't look angry anymore, they looked desperate. They wanted answers.

_So I'm finally getting through to him._

"I had dreams?" Ed asked. "What were they about? The monster?"

"Monster...?"

"Yes. Every night when I go to sleep I see this thing in my dreams...like a corpse trying to live...it makes this awful rasping sound because it can't breathe and...its eyes are glowing...it's falling apart."

Roy knew what Ed was speaking of without being told. He had never heard of Edward going into such detail about what he had created that night of the human transmutation—not even to Al. And if Edward had been himself, he still probably wouldn't have. Roy suppressed a shudder. It would have freaked him out to see it at his age, now, was already bothering him just hearing about it, but as an eleven year old...

Well, no wonder Roy had to help him sleep.

"_Tell me_," Ed demanded angrily. "Do you really think you know who I am? Do the dreams have anything to do with why I lost my limbs?"

"Yes and yes," Roy said faintly. "Look, I'm going to the butcher's shop too. Come with me and we'll get it all sorted out. Okay?"

"...okay."

* * *

Al stood outside the butcher's shop, looking into the distance and hoping Roy would be back soon. He had almost decided to give up and go look for Roy when he thought he saw the man coming down he street.

"Teacher, come here!" Al called. "Quick! Colonel Mustang is back, and I think he found my brother!"

* * *

Al almost killed Ed when he saw him. Accidentally, of course.

Of course he was happy to see his brother, but sometimes he forgot how strong that armored body could be. His hug to Ed made the alchemist flip out and try to push him off.

"Geez, man, I can't breathe," Edward said, but he was kind of laughing. He looked Alphonse up and down. "You're a pretty big guy. What's your name?"

Izumi stared at him. Al stared at him.

Roy grimaced. "Er, unfortunately, it seems we have a small problem..."

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL!"

* * *

Roy didn't know how Izumi had worked it out to be his fault, but she had.

"What did you do to him!"

"I didn't do a thing to him! Well, I called him short—"

"YOU BASTARD! I AM NOT SHORT!"

"YOU SHUT UP!" Izumi barked at Edward. He immediately closed his mouth and stepped back.

"He doesn't remember," Roy explained.

Ed glared at him. "I can speak for myself, thank you—"

"Enough," said Izumi sternly.

Maybe Ed couldn't remember his own name, but his subconscious was telling him that he'd better not mess with this woman. He shut up.

"That's better," Izumi said. "Now. Would you like to see Janey?"

"Yes."

"She's sleeping, at the moment, but you can peek in to see she's all right."

E followed Izumi to the door next to the bedroom where Janey was. Sure enough, there she was, sleeping hard. Satisfied that she was all right, Ed turned to Izumi, Roy, and Al.

"Would you all mind explaining what the hell is going on here?"

"Sit." Izumi nodded toward the table. Everyone pulled out a chair and sat. "Your name is Edward Elric. You've lost your memories, probably due to being hit on the head—"

"No!" Ed looked frustrated. "Janey told me I was her big brother Jonathan! Why would she lie?"

"You're _my_ big brother," Al said, indignantly.

"Al." Izumi put a hand on his arm, despite knowing he couldn't feel it. "Don't feel hurt. It'll be all right. We'll get this sorted out." She looked back at Edward. "Please sit down, and _stay seated_. I'll only ask once."

Ed sat.

"Janey, apparently, had plenty of reasons to lie," Izumi said. "From what she's been telling me all day, she and her older brother have been living on their own with no shelter, money, food, or any of the luxuries we take for granted. They literally had nothing but the clothes on their backs and each other. Janey told me that her brother was caught stealing food. He was arrested, and, knowing the promptness and efficiency of _our _military—" Izumi shot a glare at Roy before continuing, "—I'd say they're probably still working out the red tape."

"But _I'm_ Jonathan," Ed protested. "I don't remember anything about who I was, but it feels right to protect Janey."

"You mean it feels right to protect a younger sibling?"

Ed hesitated, didn't say anything.

Izumi sighed. "Look, Ed...that's because you're very protective of Alphonse here."

Ed looked up at Alphonse, and the younger sibling felt a deep hurt at the blank look in Ed's eyes. It was true. He didn't remember at all.

But:

"I remember a suit of armor..." Ed took the lost of things he had remembered out of his pocket and showed it to Izumi. Izumi looked over it slowly, taking it in. She nodded.

"I can explain all of this, everything on this list."

Ed met her eyes. "Then do it."

* * *

A resounding silence filled the room. Roy, Alphonse, and Izumi had just filled Edward in on the past sixteen years of his life. To prove their point, they had taken Al's helmet off and had Izumi do some simple transmutations with no circles. Edward had just listened to a story about a little boy who had loved his mother so much he'd defied God to bring her back, and loved his brother so much he had given his right arm to save his life. He'd heard about this little orphaned kid who'd become a dog of the military to fix himself, or maybe even fix everyone. He'd heard the most horrific, moving, sorrowful story in the whole world.

And they were telling him that it was _his_.

"My brain hurts," he said finally. "I can't even believe...but..."

But what his brain was telling him was that some of what they were saying had to be true. As they spoke, he would sometimes get flashes of remembrance and tell the story along with them, forgetting a few moments later.

But Janey...Ed laid his head down on the table. "What about Janey?"

"I think Janey was alone, scared, and hungry," Izumi said. "You probably looked a lot like Jonathan, and so she convinced herself that you were Jonathan, because she needed someone so badly, and you weren't able to tell her for sure that you weren't Jonathan. Deep down she knows you aren't her brother, but I'm having a hard time getting her to admit it to herself."

Ed jumped to his feet, protective of her, despite everything. "What are you telling her?"

"Sit back down!" Izumi hit him hard, sending him back down into his chair. Both Roy and Al protested loudly at this and were met with Patented Izumi Glares. "I told you I'd only ask once," she reminded them. "Now. I have told Janey no lies—just shown her pictures of you and Al together."

Ed groaned, rubbing the back of his head where it had hit the chair. He sighed. "...can I just have some time to think until Janey wakes up? Please?"

"That sounds acceptable." Izumi nodded. "Al, don't worry about helping with supper tonight, okay? Just relax."

"Are you sure, Teacher?"

"Yes."

Edward got up and went into the backyard. Everything seemed so close, so close he could almost touch it, but at the same time, there was a thin glass wall between him and reality.

"Who am I, really...?"

Ed looked up at the house. There was the larger man, Izumi's husband, helping Izumi with supper. Janey's room had a dim light coming from it. And there was the bathroom window...with the curtains open...and there was someone in there and that someone was the colonel—

Holy...he was shirtless! Ed felt his face heat up, but he wasn't sure why. What was the big deal? Guys went shirtless all the time. But...this was different. He crept closer to the window. Maybe he wasn't just shirtless. For some reason, it seemed very important to find out.

"Brother?"

Ed nearly leapt out of his skin and turned to see Alphonse standing there.

"I came to find you...to tell you the one thing I couldn't tell you in front of the Colonel and Teacher."

"What's that?" Ed asked, rubbing his chest to slow down his racing heart.

"Well, you never wanted anyone to know..." Alphonse shifted his weight nervously and the suit of armor clanked with it. "Not even me, Brother. But I could tell anyway..."

Ed scratched the back of his head. "Spit it out already."

"You, um—preferred boys, brother. I heard you sleeptalking one time about Russel and you don't want to kiss Winry..."

Ed was definitely blushing, now. "I get the point, I get the point," he said quickly, looking away. Seriously...?

Ed looked back at the window. Roy was no longer in sight.

"Well," he said warily, "that would explain _that_..."


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes:** Not much to clean up in this chapter! I did some expanding on the scene in the bathroom; it was so much fun to write the first time I got a little carried away making it "better".

Chapter Seven

When Janey woke up from her nap, she was happier than she could ever remember being.

She'd had food. She'd had a bath, with real warm water and soap. She'd slept, in a bed that was so big and soft it almost swallowed her whole.

All that was missing was her brother.

Janey glanced at the picture on the nightstand next to the bed and felt her happiness drain away. The boy in the picture looked just like her brother. And the boy she had found a week ago looked just like the boy in the picture, except for the metal limbs and the braid.

"It's him," she whispered, hugging her knees to her. "It is! He just doesn't remember. It's Jonathan...I know it is. I'll make him remember."

It was dark out, and she smelled food cooking. That meant supper was coming soon. Eager at the idea of participating in another indoor meal, Janey bounded down the stairs, screeching to a halt on the last one and very nearly overbalancing. She straightened up at the bottom of the stairs and looked around. The woman who had found her earlier, Miss Izumi, was cooking, but other people, strangers, were standing next to her.

One was a big, burly man, who vaguely reminded Janey of what a father should look like. She remembered her own, and he had been big and burly, too, though his hair had been light and not dark.

Another was a person even bigger than the first. Janey could not tell the gender of this person, though—armor covered them from head to toe.

The final person in the kitchen was rushing about, helping Miss Izumi cook supper. He was in a blue uniform, and from what Janey could see, it was just the same kind of uniform the men who had taken Jonathan away had been wearing.

The first thing Janey could think of to do was to run up to this man and kick him hard in the shin.

He fell over, letting out a startled yell and taking a pitcher of water with him.

"You jerk!" Janey yelled at him.

"What did I do?" Roy asked, glaring up at her. He got to his feet and looked down at the mess, then at the kid. "Er, Mrs. Curtis, is this your...new tenant...?"

"Yes," Izumi answered. "Honey, can you cook for a minute?" She handed the food over to Sig and knelt by Janey. "What did you kick him for?" she asked the girl.

"He took my brother! Him and four men did it."

Roy shook his head. "I never met your brother. I've never even _been_ to Dublith—"

"Quiet!" Izumi snapped at him. "You broke my pitcher. Better get to work fixing it."

Roy folded his arms. "_I'm_ not the one who—"

"I SAID YOU HAD BETTER GET TO WORK!"

"Yes ma'am," Roy answered hastily. Alphonse kindly led the Colonel out of the kitchen to find paper and chalk, explaining yet again that it was best not to cross Izumi.

"He did too take my brother," Janey mumbled.

"Maybe it was someone else wearing the same uniform?" Izumi suggested.

Janey nodded. "Maybe. But I don't want him to take my brother. He just got back!"

"Don't worry," Izumi said with a smile. "No one is taking anybody in my house, all right?"

"Okay." Janey grinned at her. "What are we having for supper?"

"Hm. I'll let it be a surprise," Izumi told her. "You go wash up, and if you help set the table, I'll give you a little dessert early."

"Okay!"

_Good thing the boys aren't here,_ Izumi mused to herself as Janey ran off. _I'm certainly not allowing _them_ early desserts._

* * *

Edward was in the bathroom, having just finished showering all the dirt from the past week away. At first he'd worried his metal arms would rust, but Alphonse had assured him they wouldn't. So far, Al seemed to be right. Edward dried himself off and put on the clothes they had given him—he didn't know it, but they were actually some of Roy's "civilian" clothes that hadn't fit him because they were too large. Edward had been told to leave his old clothes, a tattered red jacket and too many layers of black leather underneath, in the bathroom, and they could be washed and alchemically repaired later.

The shirt was white a simple short sleeved cut, and it was oversized. Edward almost put his head through the armhole. Growling, he fixed himself and poked his head through the neck of the shirt. He tripped once trying to put the jeans on for stepping on the bottom of the legs, and when he finally got them around his waist and folded his arms to stare at his reflection, they fell back down to his knees.

"Edward?" Someone was knocking on the door. Who was that? "Fullmetal, are you coming to supper? I was sent to fetch you..."

Edward looked down at his fallen pants and began pulling them up again.

"I'll be a minute," he said.

Roy sighed and leaned against the door, a smile creeping its way across his face. "_Now_ who's primping like a woman...?"

"_What_ did you just say to me?!"

"Edward, just come on."

Roy yanked open the door just as Edward got the pants up again.

"Hey! Who said you could open that?" Edward kicked it shut in his face.

But Roy had seen the little shrimp in his oversized clothes, and it was too late to undo that. Ed locked the door, vigorously cursed Roy up one end and down the other, and told Roy he would come eat when he _damn well felt like it_ and that Roy could just stop smirking because he _was not small_.

"All right, all right," Roy said, chuckling. He wasn't smirking at all, just grinning from ear to ear, more pleased than he should have been that Edward was acting so much like himself.

He walked down the stairs and sat himself at the table, next to Alphonse and the empty chair that was Edward's.

"Where is he?" Izumi demanded.

"Er, he told me he would be a minute." Roy suppressed a smile. "The clothes I gave him are apparently a tad large..."

Even Izumi had to laugh at that. The only one who didn't laugh was Janey, and that was because she didn't get the joke. But then again, she'd never known Edward.

He was not her brother...

* * *

Fuming from his encounter with Roy, Edward kicked his pants off and disrobed fully, having given up totally on trying to wear the clothes to dinner. Then he sat on the floor, completely naked, and put his head in his hands.

His clothes were just too big. He wasn't little. Not at all.

_"Why do you let it bother you, anyway? I'm short compared to Armstrong. It doesn't bother me." _

_"A freaking skyscraper is short compared to Armstrong." _

Edward drew in his breath. He recognized those voices—the Bastard Colonel's and his own. Had that been a conversation they had had? He remembered it!

Edward screwed his eyes shut, begging the memory to come back. He saw a flash of blue—_the uniform!_ he thought desperately—and heard the sound of a train, the wheels clacking as they rolled over the tracks.

_"It bothers me because..." _

The car swayed gently with them, a rhythm Ed was well-accustomed to. There was a low whistle as they passed a town, and he...he could see hills and trees and houses passing by the window.

_"Because...?" _

Ed waited, but it didn't continue. The voices faded, the scene with the blue uniform and the town went dark. The train was gone, and Ed felt the loss acutely.

_Are they right after all? Is Janey wrong? _

Time to test a theory.

Ed got to his feet. In the building where he'd first awoken, his first real memory, he'd clapped his hands together to create an exit by splintering the boards blocking his path. He'd learned from Alphonse, Roy, and his teacher that he was supposedly so good at alchemy he could do it without thinking.

Especially such a little thing like shrink clothes...

Edward brought his hands up, but he didn't bring them together.

If this worked...if he actually did this...then surely they were right...

He could no longer be Jonathan if this worked. He would be Edward Elric.

He would be _Fullmetal. _

Ed clapped his hands.

* * *

Five minutes later found Janey, Edward, Alphonse, Roy, Izumi, and Sig eating quietly at the table. Roy noticed Edward was quieter than usual, but no one else seemed to. The table was silent.

Edward, Izumi noticed, looked just fine in his new clothes. They fit him perfectly. There was very little slack, but they weren't too tight, either. But Edward hadn't made any mention of Roy seeing him in the bathroom. He had been quiet the entire time.

Izumi didn't know it, of course, but he had a lot of thinking to do.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes:** Not much to clean up in this chapter either! It feels a little slow, but since I'm not doing a total rewrite, I left that as it was. Only two more to go before I'm finished editing!

Chapter Eight

Bedding arrangements were a problem.

"I only have two guest rooms," Izumi said matter-of-factly, as they cleared away the remnants of supper. Roy and Edward were both washing and drying dishes respectively, while Janey and Alphonse brought them to the sink from the table and Sig put away the leftovers. Izumi watched them, her arms crossed and her brow wrinkled in a frown. "One room," she continued, "is where the boys used to sleep, with two beds, and the other is the small room Janey is using right now. Someone's going to have to sleep on the couch."

"Do I get to keep my room?" Janey asked Izumi.

"Of course you do. It's these three who are going to fight for beds."

Roy spoke up. "Well, they can just have their old rooms, I don't mind taking the c—"

"I'll take the couch," Alphonse interjected, handing more dishes to Roy than the man could hold. This occupied him long enough for Al to finish getting his sentence out without objections. "I can't feel whether a bed or couch is comfortable, and Colonel Mustang can."

"That's very kind of you, Al, but his comfort comes second," Izumi said, glaring daggers over at Roy, who felt holes burning in the back of his head. Janey giggled.

"Well—" Roy started again, ready to take the couch without a fuss.

"No, really," Alphonse said, shoving another armload of dishes at Roy. "I don't mind. The Colonel has been working himself really hard lately looking for my brother, and he's been very kind to me. It's no problem."

Izumi stared at Al. Edward stared at Al. Roy stared at Al, too.

"Okay," Izumi said, eyes narrowing. "If you're so sure about it..."

"I am! Really!" Alphonse shoved Roy's arms full of the last load of dishes and bowed. "Thank you, Teacher!"

He knew they were all wondering what he was up to, but he wasn't about to tell. How embarrassing that would be...

But the truth was, Al had caught Edward spying on the Colonel before supper, and he had always thought it would be nice if the two of them got along more instead of fighting all the time.

So Al was going to...help.

* * *

When Roy got to the guest bedroom, Edward was already in bed (and Roy didn't know it, but he'd subconsciously chosen the same bed he'd slept on when he was studying under Izumi), staring that the ceiling, wearing the pajamas he had shrank himself. His arms were folded behind his head, and he looked a lot less like himself than he had when Roy had walked in on him in the bathroom.

"Something wrong?" Roy asked him, going into the bathroom to change into shorts and an undershirt. He left he door half open, not caring enough to close it all the way. Edward sat up and craned his neck to peek in, and caught a glimpse of Roy shirtless again before the man turned back towards the doorway and pulled it open. Ed hurriedly lay back down, and it looked as though he had never moved when Roy came back in.

"No," Ed replied. "Everything's fine. Well, aside from the obvious."

Roy smiled as he dug in his suitcase for his toothbrush. "You seem quiet. This afternoon you were ready to kill me... where _is_ that toothbrush...?"

"I hear that's normal, for...Edward."

"It is," Roy said, not flinching when Edward referred to himself in third person. He'd been doing it all day with Edward and Jonathan both, though he was answering to both names when called by them. Roy knew it was because he hadn't figured out who he really was yet. "Normally we fight so much it becomes dangerous," Roy continued. "Once for your battle assessment, we actually dueled each other."

"Oh?" Edward said, interested. "Who won?"

"The taller one," Roy replied, smirking. "Aha. _There_ it is," he said, bringing up his toothbrush from his suitcase.

"Must not have been you, then," Edward growled.

Roy let out a laugh. "Yes, it was." He got up and walked into the bathroom again. A few seconds later Edward heard the sink turn on as Roy started brushing.

"Hmph. I bet it's all a lie." Edward folded his arms.

"No," Roy called, through a mouthful of toothpaste.

Ed grinned. So dignified, this Colonel Bastard. He turned towards the wall, but he could still hear noise coming from the bathroom.

_"You primp like a _woman_, Mustang."_

_"Ah, Fullmetal. Just because one has proper hygiene doesn't mean they're feminine..." _

Ed sucked in his breath and sat bolt upright. He stared at the bathroom door, then looked down, thinking hard. He had been...somewhere like this...before...it would come to him any second...yes...water running, a soft bed under him, feeling sleepy...

"Y'okay?" Roy asked, poking his head out of the bathroom door and interrupting Ed's train of thought. He still had toothpaste in his mouth.

"I'm fi—"

Ed looked up at him and stared. Then he started laughing. "You're going to get toothpaste everywhere."

Roy made a disgruntled noise and ducked back into the bathroom. He rinsed his mouth out and flipped off the light, then came back into the bedroom and flipped off the light there, too. "I'm not normally so grotesque," he sniffed. "But one can hardly have a conversation when one's mouth is full of toothpaste."

Edward turned back to the wall and grinned at it.

"Don't worry, I won't start spreading shit about you," he promised.

"You have my eternal thanks," Roy said dryly. "Now go to sleep, Fullmetal."

Edward's day had been exhausting, and he hadn't slept in a bed in a week. Almost before Roy finished his sentence, the boy was fast asleep.

* * *

"_Mother..._"

Roy found himself awakened by a single word, no, a cry, from the other side of the room. Light sleeper though he was, it was so soft he wondered how he could even hear it.

"Al...no...Alphonse, I'm _sorry_...please don't be mad..."

Roy drew in a quick breath. That was Edward! Hesitantly, Roy crawled out of his bed to kneel beside Edward's. He was dreaming, just like he had at the inn they had stayed in before Edward had gotten lost.

"Edward...wake up." Roy shook him lightly. "You're dreaming."

No good. Edward was shaking, clutching at his blankets.

"I'm so sorry...please...I'm sorry..."

Feeling a distinct sense of _dé ja vu_, Roy crawled into bed beside Edward, and wrapped his arms around the trembling boy. Just like before, Ed slowly settled down, taking comfort in another's touch.

But unlike before, it woke Edward up.

Roy's first thought when he saw Edward's eyes open was to get out of the bed immediately. But he stayed very still, hoping Edward would go back to sleep.

He didn't.

"Those are the dreams I was talking about," Edward said quietly, looking at the wall. He was quite aware of Roy's presence, but did not push him away. "I have them all the time. I see a monster. Other things, too. But the monster is the only thing I can remember once I wake up."

Silence.

"It's from Edward's past," Roy said finally. "From _your_ past."

Edward didn't answer.

They lay in silence for awhile. Finally, Edward said, "Thanks for helping me," and closed his eyes again. He didn't tell Roy to go back to his own bed, though, so Roy didn't. He fell asleep next to Edward.

And they stayed that way all night.

* * *

There was a lot of hustle and bustle at the Curtis Butcher's Shop the next morning after breakfast. Izumi informed her guests that in a few days, Dublith would be holding its annual festival to celebrate a good year. She sent Sig out into town to purchase fireworks for the event, and Janey begged to go with him. Izumi agreed to let her go, and ordered Edward and Al to go out as well.

"This _military man_ and I have work to do," she said, dismissing them with a wave and glaring at Roy. She was standing in the doorway holding a knife, and Roy didn't dare make a run for it.

"Can't I please stay, Teacher?" Al asked, looking back at her. He could easily read the unease on Roy's face, and knew the man wouldn't like to be left alone. "I'd like to help...and..." Al lowered his voice. "Janey doesn't like me much. It's so awkward to be around her and my brother..."

Izumi considered it, then waved her husband, Edward, and Janey away. "Al is staying."

"Thank you," Roy mouthed at the younger Elric, who nodded at him.

"You all go on, and I'll see you when you get back. Come on, you," she added to Roy.

"What do you need me for?" he asked, more than a little nervous. He looked over his shoulder at Alphonse, who could only shake his head helplessly.

"Edward is Edward," Izumi said. "Not Jonathan." She closed the door and went to the kitchen phone. "But that means the real Jonathan is somewhere. I'm going to call the local police station and ask about arrests in the past two weeks. You're going to be my secretary." She tossed Roy a pen and a pad of paper.

"Paperwork," muttered Roy. "I'm so excited."

"This will take awhile," Izumi said. "Al, do you mind putting away the dishes?"

"Not at all, Teacher."

Al and Izumi both got to work. Izumi made a call to the chief of police, yelled at him a little when he said he would look at the records later, and then sweetly thanked him when he told her of three different thieves that had been arrested.

The first lead was a dud. Izumi found out he'd been kept in the prison, and as soon as she heard he was over thirty, crossed him off the list. The second person had been sent to prison, but was released on bail because it was his first offense. Izumi crossed him of, too. The third person had been wanted for thievery for a long time, and since his bail was so large and he was such a trouble-maker, they had sent him to Central.

"Central?" Izumi thundered. "Do you know how far this is from here?! No! No, he hasn't done—what is his name? No, his first name. Aha! Just as I thought. Thank you." Izumi slammed the phone down and began to pace.

"What happened?" asked Alphonse.

"He's in Central," Izumi said quietly. "In their _jail_. His bail is...well, more than I can afford. I don't know where to go from here."

Silence.

"I work at the Central offices," Roy said. "Let me have the phone a second."

Izumi glared at him, but moved aside so he could reach the phone.

"Is it okay if I call long distance?"

"I'll want reimbursement."

"...fair enough."

Roy began to dial. Three rings, then Hawkeye picked up.

"Hello, Colonel Mustang's office, this is Riza Hawkeye, who my I ask is calling?"

Roy chuckled. "You sound like a secretary."

"Sir, _why_ are you calling here? If the higher ups find out you're out looking for Edward instead of doing your job—"

"Relax, Riza. Just keep pretending I'm coffee break if someone calls, and we'll be fine. Firstly, I found him."

"You did?" Hawkeye asked, flabbergasted. "He's alive?"

"And kicking," Roy said. "But don't tell _anyone_ yet, understand? I'll give you the details later, I'm paying for this call, but I need a few favors..."

Roy hung up ten minutes later. He had talked to Hawkeye and the officials running the Central prison (praying that they wouldn't realize he was more than just a few blocks away) and then Hawkeye again, and then finally he had made a call to the bank and the train station. He had agreed to pay Jonathan's bail and ticket to Dublith out of his own pocket and later come to Central and legally and clear his name. Stealing to eat was nothing for a kid to rot in prison for.

"He'll be on tomorrow's ten o'clock train," Roy sighed, placing the phone back in its cradle.

Izumi stared at him.

"You just abused your power," she said.

"Well, sometimes you have to break the rules to do the right thing," Roy said, rubbing his temples.

Izumi folded her arms and nodded. "Yeah, sometimes you do."

"Well, if we're done—_oof_!"

Izumi had just pounded him on the back, hard.

"That was a damn good thing you just did, State Alchemist!" she said, laughing. "You're not half bad. Not half bad at all."


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes:** This was always my favorite chapter. It has the climax, and the scene in the yard was somehting I had to expand on while cleaning up. The initial idea for this story was that if Ed didn't remember hating Roy and they got to start over with a clean slate, they could get along. I don't believe I did enough of that in the old version. Please enjoy; only one chapter to go!

Chapter Nine

Two figures side by side in the street looking up at the one lit window left in the butcher's shop. They were the homunculi Envy and Wrath.

"What do we do with them?" Wrath asked Envy. "He's safe in their nest now, and soon he'll remember everything, and then—"

"Then he'll be chasing us again," Envy replied.

"I don't want that."

"I don't either."

"Let's blow him up again. This time, don't let him live!"

"All right, all right—I won't. I'll be glad to kill the little pipsqueak. When'll we do it?"

"Tonight?"

"Tonight."

"Now?"

"No. Only the Colonel and the pipsqueak are awake now...after they're asleep, we'll sneak in and trash the place."

* * *

But contrary to Envy's statement, only Edward was awake. He had stayed after dinner to clean and he was late getting to sleep. He brushed his teeth (in a much more dignified manner than Roy had) and flicked off the lights, then crawled into bed.

He let a few moments of silence slip by. Then he asked, "Um, Roy? You awake?"

Roy responded with a grunt. Edward took that as a sign that he was awake, but only just, and he crawled out of bed to stare at the other man.

"I _almost_ remember," he whispered. "Almost."

Roy stayed quiet, his breathing deep and even.

"I almost remember this house, and my teacher, and her husband. I almost remember _Alphonse_. I can almost remember _me_. Almost..."

Edward looked around, as though someone might have been in the room spying on him, and then crawled in the bed next to Roy. The man smelled of strongly cologne faintly of ashes, but Edward liked the smell.

_And I can almost remember _you_, too. _

Had they really fought so much before he had lost his memory? Edward kind of _liked_ the man. Had they really used to _hate_ each other? It seemed strange to him, hating this guy...he was pretty good company and not too bad to look at, especially shirtless. Maybe...maybe it was only possible to like him when there wasn't that grudge hanging over their heads...whatever grudges he had had against Roy in the past...

Roy mumbled something indistinct and then draped one arm over Edward's body. Ed felt heat rise to his face, but he didn't move. Roy warded off the nightmares last night—why should this night be any different?

Edward closed his eyes and breathed a deep sigh.

_I can almost, _almost_ remember... _

As Edward's eyes closed, one of Roy's peeked open. He'd always been good at playing possum. With a little smile on his face, he pulled Edward closer, and buried his face into his hair, breathing a deep sigh of his own.

Maybe Edward didn't remember yet, and maybe he never would, but he was _alive_. And that was good enough for now.

* * *

Unfortunately for Roy and Edward both, Ed did more than a little remembering in his sleep. Though Roy had him tucked neatly under his chin, Edward still thrashed and whimpered in his sleep, nearly knocking them both off the bed.

"Mom...Al...I'm sorry...!"

Edward woke with a gasp. That dream _again_. Would it _never _end?

Glancing back at Roy, Edward crawled out of the bed. He needed some fresh air, and he didn't want to fall asleep again and wake the man with another nightmare. He opened his window, then, deciding it wasn't good enough, snapped it shut and exited the house through the back door, going into the yard were he had spied on Roy two days before.

Almost immediately, he felt better. There was a cool wind blowing—not enough to make him chilly just yet, and the sounds of natural things like wind were soothing to his ears; he was still remembering the choking, gasping creature from his dream and wanted to drive the memory far away.

Edward sat down in the middle of the yard beneath a shady tree and listened to the branches rustle for awhile. If the wind hadn't been slowly making him cooler, he would have fallen asleep there, but as it was, he knew he would have to go back in soon. It was a little cooler than he thought.

"You all right?"

Roy's voice nearly gave him a heart attack. Edward scrambled to his feet and turned, fists raised, but he put them down when he saw only Roy standing there. He gave a little grin.

"Sorry. I'm paranoid, I guess."

"Mm. Don't feel bad, it comes with being in the military," Roy said, walking to stand next to Edward. He wondered if Edward could really appreciate at the moment how odd it was for him to see Roy and then _lower_ his fists, instead of the other way around.

Ed rubbed the back of his neck. "Am I really a _soldier_ when I'm only this age...?"

"I've already told you my answer to that."

"Yeah." Ed leaned against the tree, staring out at the sky.

Roy looked Edward up and down, letting himself indulge in eye candy for a moment. Hmm...something was different about him. _Has he cut his hair? No. Grown? Definitely not. Then what...? _

"Your clothes," Roy said suddenly.

Ed glanced at him. "What? You wanted me to come out here naked?"

_Only a little._ "No," Roy lied, driving the thought from his mind. "They fit. Did you shrink them in the wash or something?"

Edward didn't say anything.

"Edward?"

Ed rubbed the back of his neck again. "I didn't shrink them in the wash."

"Then—" Roy's eyes widened. "You didn't—did you? Alchemy? You did it?"

Edward gave a short nod and Roy felt his heart leap into his throat.

"Then—do you remember? You remember how to do alchemy...do you remember us, or who you are, or—"

"No."

Roy felt crushed a moment, but didn't indulge himself for long. Edward continued to speak.

"It's like reading your favorite book a million times," he said quietly. "You know so well what happened and you remember it, it touched you, but it was never anything that happened _to_ you." He paused. "I see...faces," he said, struggling to word it right. "And sometimes I hear things...snatches of conversations...a voice I recognize but can't attach to a person, or the other way around...scenes come out of nowhere and then fade to black...but other than that, it's all still gone." He looked frustrated now. "You've only told me about my life once, but I can seem to imagine...almost _just _how it would be. But I don't really remember it. I only...imagine that I do."

"Edward..."

"Yeah...Edward," Ed said softly. "I knew, the minute I shrank my clothes, that Edward was my name. I knew I was the Fullmetal Alchemist who worked for the military. But just because I know it...that doesn't mean I feel it here." His metal hand placed itself over his chest, gleaming in the moonlight. "And so I couldn't say anything. The part of me that believed he was Jonathan...just can't see leaving that little girl in there in the world alone, even though I know she isn't my sister." He glanced guiltily at Roy. "Because... the part of me that's Edward...the part of me I can't remember...must know what it feels like to be an orphan." Ed sighed. "But I know that part of me could never imagine being an orphan _alone_."

Defeated, Edward let himself slide to the ground, back against the tree.

"And so I don't know what to do," he finished. "Is it going to be this way forever? Me being half of two different people but not ever wholly being anyone?"

"No," Roy said, surprised by Edward's openness towards him. He knelt down next to the boy. "Not at all. If being around us has helped you remember this much, surely the rest will come back too."

"How long will it be?" Edward asked hopelessly. "Months? Years? Decades? My life could be over before I even remember my own name."

He smiled a little at Roy.

"You know, a lot of the conversations I keep hearing in my head? They're all with you." Edward was remembering very much what his brother had told him about his...preferences. "But we...we always fought, didn't we?"

"Yeees," Roy said slowly, sitting down all the way on the grass. "We did...but you know, I kind of don't mind the change," he added. "Not that I don't enjoy teasing you, but it's...nice. Being able to be friends with you...and talk to you...without having to fight."

Ed gave a short nod, deep in thought. "You're not so bad yourself. I think...you know, it might be a good thing...that we got to talk, without me hating you just for being you. Because I don't hate you...I kinda like you, and all. You're not too bad of a guy. If or when I do get my memories back..." He glanced over at Roy again and kind of smiled. "I hope I don't start hating you or fighting you again."

Roy sat in silence, a little stunned. _I don't hate you..._

Ed paused, looking over the yard, then said in a rush while he was thinking on it, "You know Al told me..."

"Yes?"

Ed looked away. "Never mind. It isn't important." He wanted to think. He needed time to sort out his brain. He'd been getting hints from Roy, kind of, but...maybe getting into this while he didn't have his memories wasn't such a good idea. Then again, how long could he wait to live his life...?

Roy, sensing he needed his space, stood. "I'm going back in. It's getting chilly out here. You coming?"

Ed looked out at the yard. "I will in just a few minutes."

"All right." Roy squeezed Ed's good shoulder, then walked back into the house.

Ed only sat for a moment before hugging himself, shivering. It _was_ getting pretty cold. He stood up, staring at the house. He didn't really want to go back inside. He felt trapped in there, after spending a week outdoors.

But Roy was inside, he remembered with a little grin. Of everything he felt, he was surest that he felt he liked Roy...that he was a big brother to Al...and that he would get his memories back, maybe soon. Alphonse was probably right about him being...well, preferring guys, and Ed found he didn't mind, and he liked the Colonel a lot, even though the man had called him short during the first five minutes they met.

Edward's smile grew. Roy was in there, so it...wasn't so bad. Edward figured that if he waited a few more minutes, Roy would fall asleep again and Edward could sneak back into the man's bed. And they could...talk. Ed found he really desired the other man's company, now, anyway. He stared at the house, counting the seconds in his head. When he got to a hundred, he thought, he would go back in.

Edward got to fifteen. Then the house exploded.

_Damn it, I always _did_ hate fire._

* * *

_"Is this really what you want to do, Al?" _

_"Yes, brother." _

_"Once we burn down our home, there will no coming back." _

_"That's why I want to do it." _

_"Okay...here goes..."_

* * *

Edward stared at the butcher's shop in horror. Just like the explosion that had taken his memories, this explosion was taking away the only people he knew—whether he was Jonathan or Edward or neither or both.

_I have to get them out. _

* * *

_Fire. Explosions, heat, running...an opening. There. Go. _

_"Hah! I win now, bastard!" _

_"No you don't, either. I have _two_ gloves with the array..." _

_"Damn it!" _

_"Remember, Fullmetal, to keep deception in your back pocket..." _

* * *

"Why?" Ed gasped, rushing in the house and choking on the smoke. He began to cough. "Please! I can't remember now! Any time but now! I have save them!"

He fell to his knees. The smoke, the fire, it was so like before...

Before, before, before...

He had to remember before, even if it _killed_ him, he had to remember before...!

_"Even if you do make it out...you'll remember nothing, or maybe just enough to drive you crazy. A hell worse than death. You can have it. _Don't_ forget that Envy let you live, shorty..." _

Before that.

_"You little shrimp, get out here! I mean it, Fullmetal. Get your _short self_ out of that building!"_

Before that.

_"Move forward on those damn legs of yours and get out of that building!" _

Before that!

_"Surprised, pipsqueak?" _

There. That was right before the explosion...!

_"Run! Run, Edward!" _

Right there.

_"Run, run, run!" _

The next explosion rocked the house, an at the same time, the school in his mind exploded; the dam burst.

He remembered Alphonse. He remembered his teacher. He remembered Winry. He remembered his mother and his home and the military and his missions and his arm and—

He remembered Roy.

No. Mustang?

He didn't know.

_But he remembered. _

He remembered _everything_.

Edward staggered to his feet.

_I have to find my brother. _

The very thought sent thrills of joy though him though fiery death rained down from above.

_My brother. _

* * *

The first thing Edward did was go upstairs. It would be the first place to collapse fully. Most of the roof had already fallen in, but the stairs were still standing. Edward knew everyone but his teacher had been asleep upstairs—he had to get to them.

"Al? Janey? Mustang?"

No answers.

Ed found his Janey's room and kicked the flaming door open, the burned wood splintering easily under his metal foot. There she was, crying, hiding under her blankets. She was terrified of the fire, the same thing that had killed her parents. Ed picked her up and put her on his back, carrying her piggyback style.

"Do you know where anyone else is?" he asked.

But Janey was crying to hard to hear, much less answer. She clung to Edward for dear life.

"Okay then...just hang on tight."

Edward left and took a right. His room he'd shared with Roy was at the end of the hall. This door was already gone, so Edward dove in and looked around. No sign of Roy, but Alphonse—_my brother!_—was there, with his almost-invincible body of armor, checking the bathroom to make sure no one was there.

"Al!" Edward shouted, heart leaping into his throat. "Alphonse!"

Al turned.

"I was looking for you!"

"I was looking for you, too. _Alphonse, I remem_—"

Just then the ceiling began to crack above them.

"Get out!" Ed yelled, handing Janey off to his brother. "I've gotta find Mustang and Teacher!"

"They're outside!" Alphonse said. "They're fighting the fire now! They sent me in to look for you!"

Ed nodded. "All right. Let's go!"

They rushed down the stairs, kicking burning wreckage out of their way. The ceiling fell in on the second floor, but the first floor yelled. Edward faintly heard yelling coming from outside the building.

"Fullmetal! Edward, get out here!"

_Someone's screaming for Fullmetal,_ Ed mused with a grin. _I'd better go this time, since I didn't before._

They headed towards the back door. Edward let Al go first, but that ominous creaking started above them again.

"Damn," Ed whispered. He looked up. The south wall was going to give in to the rubble above. "Al, go, go, go!" Edward pushed his brother hard, and both Alphonse and Janey crashed through the burning door fame, rolling onto the grass outside.

That was all it took; the wall gave. Edward backed away, and managed to find refuge under a sturdy wooden table. Fire crashed around him and smoke burned his lungs.

"Alphonse!" he choked. "Al!"

"I'm okay," came the call from outside. "But you—"

"Don't worry about it!" Ed called, and broke into a spasm of coughing. He managed to call out to Alphonse, "After all, what—what are brothers for?"

Al gasped. "Ed...?"

"Go around to the front door, bro," Ed yelled, ready to suffocate. "I didn't remember everything just to die like this! Go to the front! Get me _outta_ here!"

"Right!"

As Al raced around the side of the house, Edward picked his way through burning wreckage to find the front door. The east wall gave halfway through his trip and he had nothing to duck under, so he was forced to dodge for awhile. Finally he saw that cool square of light, just like in the schoolhouse, and he smiled. Freedom. His friends, his family, his memories. He'd made it.

Then there was another explosion.

Edward knew instantly what it was—he'd heard the crackling and whistling many times before in Dublith.

Fireworks.

They painted the sky, screaming colored stars across the black. They shot in all directions, knocking in the remaining walls and causing complete and utter mayhem.

Ed dove for the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink. He was dead now. Just great! And he had never got a chance to talk to Al again...but no. He'd live through this somehow. He had to...

Spying the pipes beneath the sink, an incredible idea came to him.

No ordinary alchemist could have pulled it off.

But Fullmetal had never been an ordinary alchemist.

* * *

Izumi, Sig, and Roy were all staring at the house as it collapsed onto itself. When the second floor went, Roy felt his heart lurch, and he stopped throwing buckets of water for just the one second and began to yell for Edward, feeling a sickening sense of _dé ja vu_.

When Al and Janey showed up, Roy put more effort into his task, frightened of losing Edward again.

When the southern and then eastern walls gave, he almost dropped his bucket. So did Izumi and Sig.

When the fireworks began to go off, all three adults stopped and stared. It felt surreal, somehow. No one in that burning mass could be alive.

When the fireworks cause the other walls to give, Roy had to be restrained by Sig and Alphonse by Izumi. Both of them had looked so long and hard to look for Edward, and losing him now was really too much to bear. Janey began to cry, but there was no one to tend to her, because Roy and Alphonse were both trying to thrown themselves into the burning rubble to look for Ed.

All of the sudden, a jet of water shot up from the house. As though it was raining upside down, more jets of water appeared, and soon the house was soaked. Roy and Al stopped struggling.

"Is it him?" Roy asked breathlessly. "But he can't do that kind of alchemy! That would mean manipulating—"

"—every pipe in the house!" Al finished. "But Edward could do that! He's a great alchemist!"

They exchanged glances.

"He called us brothers," Al said.

* * *

The fire was put out. The smoking ruins of the butcher's shop were standing, but only just. The last of the fireworks had fizzled out in the sky. People were coming out of their homes to see what was the matter.

Roy and Alphonse exchanged a glance, and began to make their way towards the front door.

"Edward?" Roy yelled. "Answer if you can hear us!"

Roy heard the voice somewhere to his right—just where the kitchen sink used to be.

"Get me outta here! It's cramped."

"Edward!" Al and Roy rushed over to begin digging. They unearthed the sink, and when Alphonse opened the doors beneath it, his older brother tumbled out, covered in ashes and smelling of smoke, but very much alive.

"You're okay!"

"Edward!"

"Quit yelling." Edward winced. "My head hurts. Hey Mustang, aren't you supposed to be the Flame Alchemist? Why'd you make me put that fire out? I'm always having to go behind you and clean up your messes, you jerk!"

Roy couldn't help it. Despite the twinge of regret he felt at Edward calling him Mustang again (_hating_ him again!), he was grinning from ear to ear. Edward was back—body, _mind_, and soul.

"Stop laughing! You think I'm small for fitting in this cabinet, but that's a damn lie!"

Now Roy was really laughing, adrenaline and tiredness all kicking in at once and making him loopy. "Here, can you stand?" Roy chuckled, pulling Edward up.

"_Yes_ I can stand!" Ed fell over. "Just, uh, give me a second." On the third try he got it and grinned at all the faces around him. "Nothing to worry about here," he said. "I got it covered." He smiled over at Izumi. "Sorry I couldn't save more of your house, Teacher."

Izumi was smiling at him. "Houses can be replaced. Life, however, only flows in one direction."

"Yeah." Edward nodded wearily, eyes closed. "I remember."

_I remember. _

* * *

Young Janie understood very little of what was going on, but she had gathered that the fire was over and it was her brother's doing. Overjoyed, she ran up to him and hugged him around the knees.

"Oh Jonathan, you did it! We're okay!"

She wondered why everyone had suddenly stopped talking and looked up into his face.

"What is it?"

He knelt by her.

"Janey...when you found me by the river, I didn't remember anything," he said. "You told me my name was Jonathan and we stayed together for awhile. But Janey, I do remember now. I'm not your brother. I'm _Al's_ brother. My name is Edward El—"

"_No!_" Janey cried. "No, Jonathan, _don't_ leave me alone—please, please..."

"I think you knew," Edward said quietly. "Somewhere deep down. But you didn't want to be an orphan alone. I can understand that. Janey, you saved my life that day. Thank you. It's because of you I'm alive to remember. But I'm not your brother."

"You _could_ be," Janey said, beginning to cry. The tears left light trails down her sooty face. "He won't come back and you don't remember. You look _just like_ him! Why _can't_ you be?"

"I'm sorry," Edward said. "But I do remember. And I'm not."

"I hate you!" Janey didn't mean the words at all, but she ripped herself away from Edward and buried her face into Sig's leg, sobbing. She jerked away from all touch and cried louder when anyone tried to speak to her.

There was nothing left for it. Roy made a few calls and got some funds transferred, and checked them all into the local inn. There they slept, exhausted, until well after noon the next day.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes:** Last chapter! I'd like to thank the super-talented **Neo Diji** for beta'ing this the first time around. Without her, this story would have been a lot harder to clean up! Go read her work, she's amazing!

Chapter Ten

Morning came far too early for Izumi Curtis. But she had disciplined herself well, and she got up when the sun did, despite her body begging for just a few more minutes of sleep. Izumi was unused to sleeping anywhere but her own bed at home, but since it was currently a smoldering pile of ashes, this would do. However, she was not about to break routine.

Sig woke up only a few minutes after she did, as usual. He caught her staring out the window towards where the butcher shop was located.

"Are you going to be all right?" he asked her.

"Of course I am," Izumi replied indignantly. "Buildings can and will be rebuilt." But she couldn't help feelingsad at the loss of her shop...her home. Everything she owned... "I have to go drive out to the train station today to pick up the real Jonathan at ten. I'm taking Mustang with me. Would you mind taking Janey out for a bite to eat or something? Poor kid cried herself to sleep last night."

"Izumi..."

Izumi turned and smiled at him, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. "We're homeless too, now, but...well, you know I'm too soft when it comes to children. We had two kids once, Sig. Would you mind having two again?"

Sig chuckled. "It feels like we already do."

* * *

And so at nine that morning, Izumi dragged Roy down to the train station with her.

"You set it up, so you're coming," she told him, not giving him any choice.

"Can I drive?" Roy asked hopefully.

"No."

Izumi didn't own a car, so they wound up borrowing a car from the closest military unit. At first Izumi flat-out refused to ride in such a vehicle, but Roy pointed out that they had no other options and if they didn't hurry they'd be late. In the end, Izumi finally agreed, though she still didn't let Roy drive.

At six minutes past ten, they got to the station. The train was late.

"So what else is new?" Roy grumbled. Izumi smacked him.

A few seconds of silence slid by.

"Do you think he really looks so much like Edward?" Roy asked finally.

"Nah," Izumi said. "Probably just a coincidence, and a young child's mind."

"Want to lay money on it?"

Izumi frowned. "You gamble?"

"You don't?"

More silence. The train pulled in eighteen minutes late. Izumi and Roy stood and approached the gate. They watched for fourteen-year-old boys as they people piled off the train, and saw none. A businessman went by. A woman and her baby followed him. A little girl holding hands with her twin came next, followed by another woman with a another baby, except this baby was crying. The woman looked stressed.

No one that might be Jonathan.

"He was supposed to be on _this_ train, right? Don't tell me you screwed up, soldier!"

"It's not my fault! I pulled all the strings I—"

Just then, the final passenger stumbled out of the train, carrying not a thing with him except the clothes on his back.

"Oh, my," Izumi said softly.

* * *

As Roy and Izumi left, Sig woke up Janey, who looked pitifully exhausted. At first she said she didn't want to go anywhere, but Sig convinced her it was better than staying at the inn all day. He also threw in that if she was good she'd have the best surprise of her life come lunchtime. Janey reluctantly agreed to go out with Sig into town.

* * *

Izumi and Roy recognized this last passenger at once. They knew it had to be Jonathan, because he did indeed look a _lot_ like Edward. He had golden-blond hair, pulled back in a very short ponytail—Izumi suspected they had made him cut it when he went to jail, because there was barely enough to be pulled back. Jonathan's eyes were not gold, but brown, and they were eyes that reminded Izumi strongly of Janey. He was taller than Edward by a good five inches, but wasn't everyone? His skin wasn't as tanned as Edward's, despite the fact that he must have gotten a lot of sun living outdoors. Instead, a few freckles were sprinkled across the bridge of his nose, again reminding Izumi of the little girl that had been her guest. To top it off, Jonathan was even wearing a red shirt and black pants, though his was outfit tattered and faded, and nothing so stylish and showy as Edward's red overcoat.

Roy was the one who recovered first. "Are you Jonathan?" he asked.

Jonathan jumped and bowed to them. "Yes, sir," he said respectfully, and he even sounded just a little like Edward, save for the courtesy in his voice. "Sorry I'm late. I fell asleep on the way here. Are you Colonel Roy Mustang and Izumi Curtis?"

"We are," Izumi said with a nod. "C'mon, we've got a car waiting. Do you have any luggage?"

"No ma'am."

Izumi led Jonathan out to the car and Roy let him sit in the front, preferring to ride in the back anyway.

"How is my sister?" Jonathan asked, sounding anxious. "I haven't heard much about what's been going on, but the papers this morning said the butcher's shop burned to the ground last night. Isn't that where you live?"

"Yes. But she's fine," Izumi assured him. "Colonel Mustang, why don't you start this story? We need to fill this young man in."

* * *

The Elric brothers had shared a room the night before and had absolutely not slept at all. Al's body didn't need sleep, and even though Edward's did, he actually stayed up until dawn talking to Al. They had missed each other so much Edward had no trouble getting his exhausted body to stay awake as the two swapped stories and rejoiced over their reunion.

"...so then we came to Dublith," Al said. "It was so scary, Brother! Teacher nearly killed the Colonel."

"Score one for Teacher," Edward said with a grin. "She throw knives?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome. Wish I could have seen Mustang get turned into a shish kabob."

After everyone had woken up and gone out, Edward and Al walked back to the remains of the butcher's shop, planning to execute what they had been talking about all night. Al left a message with the innkeeper to tell the others to follow them when they got back, and Edward transmuted some chalk onto the ground outside of the butcher's shop. They had a nice big transmutation circle now, and though it was for show, both brothers clapped before putting their hands down to activate it.

* * *

The first ones to arrive back at the butcher's shop were Sig and Janey. Both of them stared at the Elrics' handiwork in wonder, and they were still staring when Izumi pulled up in the military car.

* * *

"What do you mean they're not here?" Izumi asked the innkeeper. "This young man has waited a long time to see his sister and—"

"Please, I couldn't stop them!" the innkeeper replied. "Edward Elric left the message for everyone to go back to the butcher's shop, I don't know why."

Growling in irritation, Izumi head back for the car and explained to the other two that they had to drive across town.

"Where is Janey?" Jonathan asked, frowning.

"I'm sure she's with my husband. She's fine."

When they pulled up to the butcher's shop, Izumi slammed on the brakes. Last night there had been a heap of black rubble there—but no more. Now, standing there just as peacefully as it always had, was her butcher's shop.

Edward and Alphonse were the first ones out of the house, slapping five, bumping fists, and waving to Izumi. They looked quite proud of themselves, and Izumi knew at once they had transmuted all the ashes back into the building they had once been. She got out the car, staring at her shop. Then—

"YOU IDIOTS!"

"Gah!" Edward ducked behind Alphonse. "Wh-what? We thought you'd be pleased!"

"You should never use alchemy as an alternative to hard work! I won't have lazy students!"

"Yes, Teacher!"

"We were just trying to fix the damage we had done, Teacher!"

"Teacher, please forgive us!"

Izumi sighed. "...just this once."

Relieved, Edward got out from behind Alphonse, and stood to stretch. He peeked at the car. "You got Mustang in there? Where did you two go, anyway?"

Roy got out of the car and opened the passenger door. One booted foot popped out. Edward stopped mid-stretch. Who—?

Jonathan climbed out of the car, not taking his eyes off of Edward. Quite amazed, he walked forward to stand in front of the other.

"You must be Edward," Jonathan said, a bit surprised.

"Then you would be Jonathan," Edward replied.

They didn't have time to say anything. Just then the front door opened, and a out of it rushed a three-foot-tall whirl of brown curls and happiness.

"_Jonathan!"_

Janey hit Jonathan with such force she actually knocked him over. Recovering fast, he sat up and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close and laughing and crying all at once.

"Jonathan, Jonathan, I missed you so _much_...!" Janey was wiping away tears and clinging tightly to her brother.

"I missed you, too," Jonathan said, ruffling her hair. "I'm so glad you're okay..."

Everyone gave the reunited siblings plenty of time to cry and hug, and when Jonathan finally got up to bow to everyone and thank them for their help, Izumi only waved him off.

"What will you do now?" she asked.

Jonathan looked down. "I...I'll have to steal until I'm legally old enough to get a job...but then I'll definitely earn money and find us a way to live, no matter what it takes." His determined look reminded her very much of Edward.

"There will be no need for that," Izumi told him. "My husband and I have discussed it, and now that I've met you, I'm sure. You seem like a very well behaved young man, and your sister is no different. If you want, you may both stay and train under me as my students."

"You're gonna adopt us?" Janey asked, eyes wide. "Be our mom and dad?"

"Mhmm," Izumi nodded. "_And_ train you. It won't be easy, but it will be a home. Will you accept my offer?"

Jonathan bowed again, not trusting himself to speak. A long moment passed before he straightened up. "Yes ma'am. Thank you."

He turned, and held his hand out to Edward. "Thank you, too, Edward Elric," he said. "If you hadn't gotten caught in that building, I might never have seen my sister again."

Edward blinked. "Anytime."

* * *

"So all's well that ends well," Roy groaned three days later, head on his desk. "Janey and Jonathan have a home with the most terrifying, gentle mother they could have, who, incidentally, was looking for children of her own to love. The shop is back, and her husband can keep it running with her so they never go hungry. Edward has his memories back and he's alive. The bombings in Thornsden have stopped, and even though we didn't catch Wrath or Envy, I think they'll leave us alone for now. The higher ups think Al did everything all on his own, the Thornsden bombers were killed in the butcher's shop explosion, and that I was here all along—my job and my rank are safe. And Al? He's just happy to have his brother back."

"But you sound unhappy," Hawkeye said. She had a comforting hand placed on his shoulder, and had been listening to him talk about his adventure—making sure, with help from her gun, that he didn't leave out any details—for the past hour.

"I am unhappy. I was the only one who got a bad ending."

"How's that?"

"I was _this close_," Roy sighed, peeking one eye open to look at Hawkeye. "To getting Ed not to hate me. I was _this close _to getting it."

"I know, sir," Hawkeye said.

"Now that Edward remembers me, he just...hates me again."

"That may not be so."

"I know it is. He started calling me Mustang again instead of Roy." Roy sat up and propped his head up, elbow on the desk. "He even yelled at me on the train ride back for calling him short when I didn't—well, maybe I did, but..."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"I mean it was actually getting to be a good thing. Almost. If things could have waited just a few more days..."

"I understand, sir. You must be very disappointed."

Roy sighed again. She didn't really care, did she?

After giving his shoulder a final squeeze, Hawkeye got up and walked to the door. "Cheer up. Edward got along with you for awhile, right? Maybe he's still thinking about it. Just because he got his old memories back doesn't mean he forgot you two being kind to one another."

Roy nodded. "Thanks, Riza."

She saluted. "Just doing my duty, sir. You can't sign papers if you're depressed!"

Roy chuckled as she opened the door to leave. "Too true."

Hawkeye bumped into Edward on her way out the doorway. "Hey Lieutenant," Edward said, smiling. "Let me in, please."

"Hello, Edward," Hawkeye replied. "Behave," she warned.

"Yeah, yeah, when do I not?"

Edward walked in as Hawkeye walked out. "Uh, hey, Mustang. You mind if I use your phone?"

Roy cocked an eyebrow. "For?"

"Well—Winry and old lady Pinako—they haven't heard I'm okay yet, so I thought I'd give them a call—" The excuse sounds flimsy even as he made it up. He just didn't want Roy—Mustang...to think it was anything...

"Can you make it quick?" Roy asked, Ed's lie going right over his head. Of course he didn't want to come to chat, just to use the phone... "Technically, personal calls aren't allowed on this line."

"Yes, I'll be fast."

"Then sure," Roy said. "Help yourself." He gestured to the phone. Edward grabbed it and stretched the wire far enough to reach to the couch, then dialed Winry's number and grinned.

"Ringing," he mumbled. "Oh—hey, Winry, whaddaya sound so sad for?" Edward began to laugh. "Yes, it's me. _No_...yes. Yes! It's me. I'm not joking." Pause. "Would I do that? I'm not a ghost either—hey...WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE YOU COULD SEE RIGHT THROUGH HIM?!"

Roy suppressed a sigh, and pointed at his wrist. "You can talk more later, she knows you're okay now," he said. Honestly, why couldn't Ed be like this around him?

"—what? Yeah...yeah, it was Mustang...I'll call you back after work, I promise." Suddenly Edward's face turned very red. "That's none of your business. I'll call back." His eyes widened. "Good_bye_, Winr—okay...yeah...okay..._okay_...you, too...bye." Shaking his head, Ed replaced the phone on the desk.

"What was that all about?" Roy asked.

Ed averted his gaze. "Just chicks being crazy. Thanks for letting me use your phone."

"No problem."

Silence. So, what, were they going to talk about women now? That wouldn't be helpful...whatever. This was stupid anyway. Things were back to normal, and they would just have to stay that way...Ed got up, glanced at Roy, and walked towards the door. He stopped at it, and glanced back at him, and lost his nerve.

Roy's heart jumped into his throat as Edward opened the door.

_Don't let him leave. _

"Edward," Roy said quickly.

Ed whirled. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted you to know..."

"Yeah?" Ed asked eagerly.

"I—I'm glad you're back," Roy said finally, courage failing at the last second. Edward's face fell. So did Roy's.

"Oh...well...thank you," Edward said. He turned back to the door, then paused. _Just say it..._ "Hey, uh...Roy...?"

Roy jerked his head up; he'd noticed the name change. "Yes?"

"Well, um...I just wanted to say..."

"Yes?" Roy leaned forward a little.

"I—I—thanks, for finding me," he said, losing his nerve too. "I really...appreciate it."

Again, both males looked down.

"No thanks needed," Roy murmured. "It was mostly Al's doing, anyway."

"Oh...right...well..."

"Well..."

"Um," Edward said suddenly, fidgeting in place. "Also...I kind of liked it, you know? Not fighting. And...being...you know, being...kind of almost like friends."

Roy's eyebrows rose. "Yeah?" he asked hopefully. "I didn't think you remembered that conversation..."

Edward shrugged. "Well, I—I do. And...it wasn't so bad, being friends instead of enemies."

Roy smiled at him. "I agree. It was...pleasant."

"I think maybe..." Edward seemed to find the door fascinating, now. "We should try that. Being friends. I want to be..._better_ friends."

"Oh?" Roy asked, picking up on this. Better friends... "I'd like that."

"Roy, do you...do you think maybe, we could...not at work, but...we could talk? Maybe?"

"Ah, I noticed I'm Roy again, now." He felt a warm, happy feeling rise up in his chest. "Did you?"

"I—I guess so...yes."

Roy smiled. "Yeah, we should talk...you should visit me at home sometime. We relax there." The dorms were hardly the place...

Edward smiled, too. "Okay...sure...I'd like that." He walked over to the desk and got very close to Roy's face. "And...until we're through talking...this is our secret, right?" Ed swallowed.

"Absolutely," Roy answered.

_Be a man, Ed...just do it..._ Before he could back out, Edward leaned just that inch closer and let his lips meet Roy's. He let it linger for a moment, eyes closed before pulling away, face as red as his jacket. "I'll—see you after work then, right? You can pick me up somewhere in town."

Roy's mouth was hanging open, a little. "Sure."

"Well, then...see you. Thanks for the—the phone."

"Any time, pipsqueak."

"YOU BASTARD, WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALL?!"

_Yes, _Roy thought, rubbing his sore cheek as Edward stormed out of his office, _All's well that ends well._

And he decided maybe he hadn't gotten such a bad ending after all.

**Notes:** Well, that's it! Review if you like. I probably won't be going over this story again, but I'd like to hear what you think. I hope you enjoyed it!

~Liz


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